Reminiscing Raya

As a child, Aidil Fitri meant a 10-hour drive back to Kelantan - a necessary evil for me who suffered from travel sickness. It was worst when travelling by day due to the heat. In those early years, the route to Kelantan was via Kuantan then up the coast of Terengganu. We would have to cut through hills and a mountain range, and the sight of the barren rock faces flanking the roads would send waves of nausea throuh me.
I tried taking pills to stop myself from throwing up on whomever was unlucky enough to sit next to me in the car, but I could never swallow them, despite their tiny size and my mother's attempts to make them more palatable by incorporating them in bread or banana. Eventually I would have to crush the pill and down it with lots of water to take away the bitterness. At times I would plead with my father to travel at night, but Mak would tell me off for selfishly making him drive when he was tired and sleepy.
As we made it a point to celebrate the eve of Aidifitri at my father's kampung, there were times when we would have to break fast on the road. One time we arrived at Tok Wan's house just in time for sahur. While everyone immediately filled up, my brother refused to eat because Tok Wan did not prepare sweet sour garoupa (we'd been having it constantly throughout that particular Ramadhan that our kitchen expenses were higher than for other months). After some cajoling, he finally agreed to have an omelette instead. The next day my grandmother scoured the markets of Pasir Putih and finally managed to find a small specimen to cook her favourite grandchild his favourite dish.
Tok Wan was famous for her ketupat daun palas and satay. On the eve of Eid, she would spend hours in the kithchen threading pieces of marinated meat on skewers or filling up glutinous rice into cones made of palas leaves. Sometimes I would help her in these tasks, but I never worked on them long enough to inherit the recipes as there was always something more exciting happening in the front lawn - Ayah's fireworks display.
Every year without fail he would stock up on a variety of colourful and splendid fireworks, and all the children of the village would gather in front of Tok Wan's house, while the ladies watched from the windows. We would clap and cheer at the multi-coloured bursts and whizzes as Ayah lit up one firework after another, and the night would end with handheld sparklers that would invariably find a victim or two.
I can't remember the last time I saw that firework show. After SPM I went directly to England for my A-Levels and first degree, so for 6 whole years I celebrated Eid away from my family. The first Raya after I finished my studies was subdued - Ayah had passed away two years previously, and Tok Wan was never the same cheerful person ever since. That year she was particularly ill, and it was a week after Raya that she was diagnosed with advanced stage intestinal cancer. She passed away on the 14th of Syawal that same year. No more ketupat daun palas, and the fireworks sparkled no more.

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Caftan oh caftan

Inspired by my friend's post (http://ladyverde.blogspot.com/2010/08/settled-kautimbaju-raya-checked.html), I decided to check out some caftans near Damansara Perdana yesterday. I wasn't really intending to buy one for raya, just to see what I'd look like in one.
The first boutique I went to was Puteh. It carries a range of caftans designed by Rizalman Ibrahim, and I've seen enough of his designs to know that they're gorgeous. And really they are, but with a 4-digit price tag and extra-long length I decided to just admire them on the rack rather than on my body.
The next boutique I went to was Galeri Muslimah just round the corner. It's actually a showroom for a range of tudung and accessories as well as clothes, and does both retailand wholesale. I picked out a gold satin caftan and matching yellow tudung to try on. It looked quite big, but with hidden tiebacks to alter the fit. Sorry no photos :-))
I have to admit I felt like a goddess, and began to picture myself lying on a chaise-lounge like Cleopatra witj the voluminous sleeves spread all around me, but when I stepped out of the fitting room to show Hubby his first response was: "Ni nak pakai tidur ke pi jalan2?"

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An angel in the morning

This is the face I see when I wake up from sleep.

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Golden Goose

This article was sent to me by Hubby some days ago.

Remember the tale of the goose that laid the golden egg? How the owners got greedy and killed the goose to get at what they thought was a horde of golden eggs inside the goose, only to find nothing but goosey guts?

Although the moral of the story is primarily about greed, the writer of that article took another angle, and took the goose, instead of the farmer, to represent individuals with unique talents and abilities. What if, he asks, the goose allowed itself to be victimised? The golden goose that allows itself to waste away.

I'm expanding the theory even further here - what if the goose has already laid its last golden egg, but the farmer is still expecting it to produce wealth? What if you've expended the last drop of your creativity and skills, and have nothing more to offer, but because of this crazy competitive world the farmer keeps urging you on, believing that your glorious past is still present well into the future?

I feel spent. I hope it's just a phase, and that this phase, like the others before it, shall pass.

Money money money

What would you spend money on? Assuming you have more than enough stashed away for retirement, would you spend money on material things or life experiences? And would you spend it all on yourself or on your loved ones?
I find myself in a dilemma when I have extra cash in hand. Of course like any other member of the female species I like beautiful clothes, jewellery and luxury items - but another side of me (the side that turned me into an engineer, obviously) will want to rationalise every purchase that I end up not buying them. It's either because I already have something like it or I don't have the space to store it. I really do not mind spending a lot of money on something if I get good mileage out of it and it does not end up cluttering my already limited real estate.
The same goes when I buy stuff for people. By all means my mother and sisters can go shopping on my account, but I have to believe in their cause. Which is why I'd pay for my sister's work clothes but not another one's date outfits. And why I'd fork out a large sum for a new kitchen with additional storage space and new appliances, but not rebuild the wet kitchen as well just because there've always been two kitchens - despite one being totally underutilised except as storage space for items you didn't even know you had. I'd rather spend the money on foodstuff and travelling and good service.
So, where shall I go on holiday as an excuse to buy a beautiful knee-length winter coat from Zara?

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Needs and Wants List Updates

Referring to my needs and wants post, here's an update:

• Car seat - I went for the Combi Coccoro in Carrot Cake - the 4C's! I haven't tested Sofiyyah in it yet, though.
• Nursing clothes - I bought the Diva tank tops from The Baby Loft one in each of the 5 colours. To ge with these are cheapo leggings that are for wearing underneath my coveralls.
• Newborn teats - MIL already bought a pack of 3 a few weeks back, and I also bought some extra bottles. Which is a good thing, because Sofiyyah is quite a guzzler and I've used up all the 150ml bottles that came with the Medela Harmony pump. Hopefully the 5 bottles of EBM stocked in the freezer will be sufficient for at least two working days. Just in case, there's some standby Formula milk, although I hope it won't have to come to that.
• Milk collection shells - the ones online are sold out. I'll have to find some when I go back to KL next week.
• Haircut - Not yet.
• Fix watch - Not yet.
• New phone - my phone is very temperamental nowadays, losing signals and battery strength with unpredictable frequency. I am torn between two phones offered by Maxis:

Samsung Galaxy S

HTC Desire

Or should I just wait for the QWERTY versions to hit our shores?

Post-natal resolution

Having 4 babies certainly has obvious physical effects. It could also be age catching up - it's true what they say about hitting 30. I definitely need to put in a lot more effort to get toned. This is going to be tough - sit-ups, crunches and any form of regimented exercise has never been my thing.

So in a bid to get me started, I have bought new sports shoes, a yoga mat and signed up to play netball at the office. There's also some magazine cut-outs ("How to get Gorgeous Legs in 4 weeks" - I wish!) that I will put into practice with semi-religious zeal. And hopefully nursing the baby plus running after the 3 older kids will make up for all the work-outs I've already put off.