Saturday 12 March 2005
Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone
I watched 'Me, Myself and Irene' on Astro recently, and somehow that line stuck. For those not in the know, the movie was about a really nice guy, Charlie, who has been suppressing all his anger until it manifests itself into a second personality called Hank who thinks he's really cool but isn't (the line is his). It's one of Jim Carrey's less successful movies, I think, and the above line is about the only really memorable thing about the movie. But I'm writing it here just so that I don't forget it.
Saturday 5 March 2005
It's PPA time again...
The last week has been really hectic. I've forgotten how preparing yearly appraisals can be so time consuming and mind numbing, and couple that with a project that seems to run into trouble at every corner (and this project is like a myriagon - so many corners but you end up just going in circles like a headless chicken) - by the end of Wednesday I already felt like I've been in a high-speed tumble dryer. And I still had two days to go through.
The PPA is supposed to consist of a Performance Plan at the beginning of the period (April), a mid-year review in October and a final review and Appraisal in March the following year. One is supposed to list down all the objectives and KPIs at the beginning, and work towards that objective. It actually makes sense - if you set your target to complete a project in 5 months, and it actually took you 4, then you've exceeded your target, you get a better appraisal, right? The problem is, no one actually sits down to properly plan their performance at the beginning, and when you're first assigned to a project you're still not quite sure what you're supposed to deliver - especially if it's a PMC job and it's already in the construction phase, and you know you've got a less than competent contractor to work with. I mean, no way you can score a 2 (Exceeding Expectations) there, can you? Maybe if I put my KPI as 'surviving this project with my head intact', I might just manage a 3 (Meeting Expectations).
And what about that proposal that I spent 9 months preparing? I started it in April, had to go to site, collect documents, do some pre-engineering before actual project kick-off - when the client decides to shelve it because the project cost was above their budget. Does that mean I failed, just because my proposal (which was as tight as a newborn baby's rectum) went over the initial half-baked cost estimate that only considered major mechanical equipment but not all the other systems modifications and structural work?
And this time around I'm supposed to quote actual behavioural demonstrations of people and business skills, like Initiative and Relationship Building. Well, I married a colleague and had a baby, so does that count? But I married him last year, so can only consider baby this time...
The PPA is supposed to consist of a Performance Plan at the beginning of the period (April), a mid-year review in October and a final review and Appraisal in March the following year. One is supposed to list down all the objectives and KPIs at the beginning, and work towards that objective. It actually makes sense - if you set your target to complete a project in 5 months, and it actually took you 4, then you've exceeded your target, you get a better appraisal, right? The problem is, no one actually sits down to properly plan their performance at the beginning, and when you're first assigned to a project you're still not quite sure what you're supposed to deliver - especially if it's a PMC job and it's already in the construction phase, and you know you've got a less than competent contractor to work with. I mean, no way you can score a 2 (Exceeding Expectations) there, can you? Maybe if I put my KPI as 'surviving this project with my head intact', I might just manage a 3 (Meeting Expectations).
And what about that proposal that I spent 9 months preparing? I started it in April, had to go to site, collect documents, do some pre-engineering before actual project kick-off - when the client decides to shelve it because the project cost was above their budget. Does that mean I failed, just because my proposal (which was as tight as a newborn baby's rectum) went over the initial half-baked cost estimate that only considered major mechanical equipment but not all the other systems modifications and structural work?
And this time around I'm supposed to quote actual behavioural demonstrations of people and business skills, like Initiative and Relationship Building. Well, I married a colleague and had a baby, so does that count? But I married him last year, so can only consider baby this time...
Wednesday 2 March 2005
When the bough breaks, the baby will fall...
Okay, baby wasn't exactly rock-a-byeing on a tree top, but he did fall off the bed in his sleep. Actually I wasn't sure if he was asleep. It was past 1 a.m., and after a nappy change around midnight, Nuaim was simply too restless to fall back into a deep slumber. He kept tossing and turning, and kept scratching the back of his head - I think he must be allergic to something I ate that got through into the milk. His poor Ummi, on the other hand, could hardly keep her eyes open. In the end I thought Sod it. I'm going to sleep. Nuaim can toss and turn until he's too tired and falls asleep all by himself.
Next thing I knew I heard a scream, and woke up to find him missing from the bed. I found him on the floor at the end of the bed (How did he get THERE?), fortunately not visibly hurt.
Tonight, he doesn't sleep on the bed with me anymore. He's in a cot all by himself.
Poor boy.
Next thing I knew I heard a scream, and woke up to find him missing from the bed. I found him on the floor at the end of the bed (How did he get THERE?), fortunately not visibly hurt.
Tonight, he doesn't sleep on the bed with me anymore. He's in a cot all by himself.
Poor boy.
Tuesday 1 March 2005
Baby tidur buas la...
Ever heard the phrase 'sleeping like a baby'? What image does it conjure up in your mind? Probably of a cherubic face, eyes closed, dimpled cheeks pressed against a blanket with soft contented sighs emanating from cupid's bow lips.
Not my baby boy. Because I'm still breastfeeding, his baby cot is pulled up directly next to our bed with the side panel removed, so that I can just pull him up close to me when he wants a night feed. Now at 9 months, Nuaim tosses and turns in his sleep. Most of the time my husband and I would be squeezed in one half of our queen size bed while Nuaim rolls over from his cot. Other times, he'll be kicking against my tummy to gain leverage while he executes a 90 or 180 degree turn, all in his sleep. I've caught him in a sort of mid-role pose with one arm outstretched, like a snapshot of an Olympic free-style swimmer.
Maybe he'll grow up to become an Olympic gold medallist like Ian Thorpe. Anything but an engineer, darling - although he does seem to exhibit the strongest interests in techie stuff. Aiyoo... how to discourage him aah?
Not my baby boy. Because I'm still breastfeeding, his baby cot is pulled up directly next to our bed with the side panel removed, so that I can just pull him up close to me when he wants a night feed. Now at 9 months, Nuaim tosses and turns in his sleep. Most of the time my husband and I would be squeezed in one half of our queen size bed while Nuaim rolls over from his cot. Other times, he'll be kicking against my tummy to gain leverage while he executes a 90 or 180 degree turn, all in his sleep. I've caught him in a sort of mid-role pose with one arm outstretched, like a snapshot of an Olympic free-style swimmer.
Maybe he'll grow up to become an Olympic gold medallist like Ian Thorpe. Anything but an engineer, darling - although he does seem to exhibit the strongest interests in techie stuff. Aiyoo... how to discourage him aah?
