Speed Devil vs Overconcerned Nanna

Drove home from Kerteh last night with Ros keeping me company. We yakked most of the way home, which helped to relieve the boredom of the KL-Kuantan highway. Mind you, I'd never dare take a night drive all by myself. Can hardly believe I managed to travel from Kuantan to Genting in less than 2 hours. I hope I don't get caught on speed camera doing 160 on a 110 km/h road. Feel damn tired though. To make up for it, I stayed in bed till 10.00 this morning with darling baby Nuaim.

He's so cute when he wakes up in the morning but pretends to still be asleep. His eyes are shut, but he can't hide the smile or giggle when I tickle him behind his ears or his chin. What a lot I missed in 4 days! He can stand and take 3-4 steps unaided, and is now more vocal though he still can't form any coherent words. And he talks back! Must be something he picked up from me...

But tomorrow, hubby is driving us back to Kerteh, hopefully only till the end of the month. Mak isn't too happy about it, since Nuaim won't be spending his time at her house during that time. She keeps telling me to leave him behind, that the trip would tire him out, that he'll be lonely without the usual brouhaha that is her neighbourhood to keep him company and he'll lose his appetite. She's even suggested that I move back into the family home when I finish this Kereh project. What? That's so going to cramp my style!

I can't help thinking how self-centered she is about all this, trying to make me feel guilty for wanting my son to be with me. I mean, Nuaim already spends most of his waking hours away from me, at least let me spend my nights with him. After all, I am his mother, and Mak has already had the opportunity to lavish maternal affection on 5 children, all her own.

I really want to be able to bring up my own children and care for my family my way, without people dictating what I should or should not do. I don't remember my grandparents giving continuous instructions to my parents on how to raise us 5 siblings. Or maybe my parents were just as obstinate as I feel (although I do give in most of the time) and by the time my long-term memory could register anything, my grandparents had already given up. Then again, they did live 10 hours away from us. All the more reason for me to start planning a move somewhere a bit farther than ten minutes away from Mak's house.

Guilt trip. I should order a lovely bouquet of flowers for Mak. After all, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, and Nuaim and I won't be here to celebrate it.