Time flies...

I can't believe it's almost the end of the week already.

Last Saturday, I was thinking to myself it felt like ages since my confinement ended. Partly because I managed to strike off quite a number of To-Do items off my list, which gave me a sense of accomplishment. And suddenly the next Saturday is looming near, and I haven't even managed half of the remaining stuff. Whatever happened in the last five days? In 10 days I'll actually be back in the office. Although I'll be disappearing again barely a week later. And to think I have yet to fit in breakfast at Coffee Bean.

I still have a lot of stuff to pack for the move, and a lot of other stuff to organise as well. How does one pack away crystal vases and crockery? Do I really need crystal vases anyway? Not to mention (oops, too late already did!) that I'll need another display cabinet for them.

A piece of advice on wedding/housewarming gifts - never, ever get crystalware, crockery, electrical appliances or pots and pans. Chances are the (un)lucky couple will end up with loads of that stuff which they'll never use. Comforter sets are an exception, though - but only if it suits their taste. Money or shopping vouchers are almost always welcome. If you do feel the need to actually purchase an item for the house though, make sure it's something really useful that no one else will think of like a vacuum cleaner, microwave oven or washing machine. They may be expensive but you can always get other friends to chip in.

The good news is I've finally decided on a garden plan, but have not yet started the implementation (this is why I need to attend the Planning & Implementing course). Of course I only think of the aesthetics and am totally clueless on the actual work involved. I just want one big shady fragrant tree for the front corner, and heliconia and canna ripped off from Mak's garden along the walls. That should be enough for starters. Now where can I get a full grown flowering pokok bunga tanjung?

Dressing Down

Since my previous post, I've been decluttering and packing the stuff at my condo in stages. Yesterday I managed to put my cookbooks, dictionaries and several other books into a box picked up at the local supplies shop. I figure that's only one tenth of all the books we have in the house, excluding the files and folders from seminars and training courses.

Today, instead of continuing with the books, I sorted out my clothes. The rules, as picked up from various magazines, are as follows (I'm doing a Martha Stewart here, so if you're bored just skip to the next paragraph):

1. Get rid of items that are stained, outdated and don't fit. - Quite a lot fell into this category. I realised most of them were white shirts (stained), Mak's hand-me-downs (outdated) and stuff from my pre-marriage years (don't fit). Disclaimer on the 'don't fit' category: they may still fit me physically (yeah, right!) but do not fit with my current status as wife/mother/Mak Haji.
2. If it hasn't been worn for a year, it'll never be worn, ever. - Since I was pregnant for most of the last year, I claim exemption from this rule. Will relook next year.
3. If something new goes in, something old has to come out. - Okay, apart from seven new tailored outfits (and only because the fabric were gifts from friends and relatives), I won't be buying any new clothes. Not until we finally move to TTDI Jaya and I can see how much extra space I have in the new closet. Somehow, I suspect there ain't gonna be any.

Anything turqouise goes out - it reminds me too much of the secondary school uniform, and also a wedding of a lawyer-politician's daughter where almost all the guests (me excluded, fortunately) and the wedded couple (unfortunately) wore that colour, which represents the political party her father was associated with. The sight of so many people in turqouise, put me off it completely. Besides, the colour doesn't do any favours to my complexion.

I had already packed away my maternity clothes, and the plan is I won't be needing them again for at least three years. Then I started sorting out the breastfeeding-friendly clothes - Kebaya and button up blouses or shirts fall into this category. Baju kurung, tunic tops, t-shirts and abaya go into another pile. Right, so far so good.

As I was going through the contents of my closet, I reminisced the events associated with each one. There's the dark green baju kurung I've had since Form Five (that's 14 years ago!!) that I wore to my scholarship interview and my pre-departure induction programme - I'm keeping this one. Besides you can never go wrong with dark green and baju kurung in my book. The blue and pink outfit worn during a prize-giving ceremony after SPM - this one, unfortunately has to go since it's almost faded to grey.

Then there's the top that saw my heart get broken before a football match, and later witnessed me falling in love during a team-building programme by the beach - I'm keeping this one too, as well as the peach baju kurung and royal blue salwar kameez that Hubby said makes me look ayu dan berseri during our courtship. Funnily enough, I don't remember what I was wearing when Hubby proposed.

By the time I finished sorting out the clothes, the wanted ones were in two cabin bags, while the unwanted clothes were in plastic bags. There was another bag of unfit and hand-me-down items that I definitely do not want but I thought my sisters might like (or I might reclaim them).

My side of the closet was now empty, except for some small items, several dinner bags and purses. I would have tackled Hubby's side of the closet next (I'm sure there are a few T-shirts of mine hiding there somewhere) but it was already lunchtime and I was mega-hungry. We'll leave those for another day then. Heck, I've got two weeks.

Meang Kam me come

Today I had lunch with 6 other girlfriends from the office.

Venue: Imperial Chakri Palace, Suria KLCC.

Menu:

1. Meang Kam - we shared 2 platters.
2. Tom Yam Goong - individually served in either red or clear broth. I had the clear one.
3. Thai Mango & Papaya Salad
4. Stir-fried broccoli
5. Sweet & Sour Seabass
6. Crispy Soft-shell crab with yellow curry - one crab each, but I had an extra half as one of the ladies can't eat crustaceans.
7. Desserts - individual choices. I didn't have any as I was too full by then. Apparently the Red Ruby was delicious.

My drink was longan juice, which was beautifully served with jelly slivers and grenadine syrup. 5 minutes after it arrived, someone next to our table ordered the same thing. Tiru ye...

I wish I had pictures to post, but I had wolfed down everything before I thought about it. Besides I don't want you people to salivate all over your computer keyboards unless it's spillproof. I would really recommend the crabs, unless you're allergic to seafood. And the Meang Kam is an interesting eating experience, especially when sharing.

The lunch was a wonderful gathering to catch up with the latest news, including new babies on the way and updates on current babies' progress. Yes, that's all we mothers and mums-to-be can talk about. Besides handbags.

Thanks to Verde, Noorul and Roszie for sponsoring the lunch!

Just strolling along

When Nuaim was almost two months old, we purchased this Safety 1st Travel System (ours was blue) consisting of a stroller and car seat. It was easy to manouvre, and just as easy to fold and unfold. The only downside was that it took up half the car boot space whenever we travelled, and was quite heavy (for me, at least) to carry.

Because of its size and weight, I hardly take the stroller with me on car trips. My two boys now use it as part of their own Angkasawan/Khidmat Negara physical training. As a result, the folding mechanism has jammed. So much for a sturdy build. Fortunately the car seat is still intact.

So now I'm looking for a new stroller for baby Aiesyah. At first I was tempted to get a twin stroller for both Nu'man and Aiesyah like the one below, but it'll probably be bulkier and heavier. Besides Nuaim will probably get jealous of his brother and start fighting for one as well.

So my criteria for a new stroller are:

1. Compact
2. Folds easily
3. Lightweight
4. Cheap enough so I won't cry over yet another investment gone bust

I've been surveying the ones in the Jusco dept store and ToysRUs today, but there were hardly any sales assistants around to attend to my queries. Don't these people work on weekdays?

Perhaps I'll just get me one of these:

Bare Necessities

1000 bucks.

That's how much I've spent in the last three days.

Mind you, I didn't splurge on anything unnecessary. I mean, curtains - you gotta have curtains, right? And a few magazines to provide inspiration for a new garden? Vitamins are an absolute essential, so are nursing bras for a breastfeeding mummy. It's not like I went out and bought the latest Braun Buffel 1887 DLuxe collection (although it would go so nicely with my wallet - but it hasn't reached the department store yet).

And guess what I had for lunch...

Ten minutes later...

Gendang gendut tali kecapi,

Kenyang perut senang hati.

All washed down with a Latte Macchiatto.

Dua Jejaka Idaman Malaya

This is what my two sons got up to tonight.

I was sitting with them after Maghrib, and was talking with Nuaim about the Malay traditional dress.

Nuaim: "Lepas tu Ummi pakai baju Melayu, seluar Melayu, kain sampin..."

Me: "Ummi kan perempuan, Ummi tak pakai kain sampin semua tu."

Nuaim: "Iye lah, baju Melayu untuk budak lelaki macam Nuaim kan?" (Suddenly excited). "Nuaim nak pakai baju Melayu lah!"

And so he runs off to find his favourite 'grape'-coloured baju, complete with sampin and songkok. Nu'man, upon seeing his brother putting on the festive clothes, thinks its Hari Raya and decides to dress up as well. As one would say in Kelantanese, bghehi jjangok sungguh!

Mobile Mum

I've been out everyday since Sunday. First day was back to the condo with Nuaim, in search of my favourite Avent ISIS breastpump which was not there. Yesterday I went to 1Utama in the afternoon on my own, to pay off the outstanding bill for the curtains, browse MPH for a gardening book (couldn't find one) and check out baby strollers (all too big and heavy). I also managed to buy some cute baby girl outfits - Aiesyah's already outgrowing her clothes. Despite my plans to have lunch there, I only left the house during tea time as Aiesyah was awake most of the morning and by the time she had fallen asleep I was too hungry to drive and Cik Dah had already prepared the mid-day meal.

The breastpump was actually at Mak's house, safely tucked away with some small baby bottles in a cabinet in the kitchen. It was missing a few parts though, so I had to make do with another pump I bought last year but had not yet used. This one was from Pigeon, and although it looked similar to the Avent pump, I don't quite like it as it's not so comfortable to grip and tehre are just too many parts to assemble.

So today I headed off to Kinderdijk, the official Avent distributor in Malaysia, with Nuaim. It's located in Plaza Damas, Sri Hartamas, but I'd never been there so got a bit lost searching for the place. Nevertheless, we managed to find our way, and Nuaim was perfectly well-behaved.

On the way back, though, he kept asking about Tesco. It was already noon, but since I had managed to pump about 6 oz this morning, I wasn't worried about Aiesyah going hungry. So off we went. Nuaim was really excited because he got to see the all the different types of fish, which I had to name for him. Alas, no crabs were available.

I hadn't realised that Tesco now has an Autopay carpark. It used to be free, but a lot of people who went shopping at the neighbouring IKEA, Ikano and The Curve would park there for hours on end, thus depriving the true-blue Tesco shoppers (like me) from getting a decent parking space. I'd assumed they would charge only RM1 flat rate. I was wrong - it's actually RM2, but if you shop at Tesco the cashier can swipe your ticket and you get free parking. Unfortunately I wasn't aware of this so I had to pay the parking fee anyway. And I can't collect Bonuslink points at Tesco anymore since they've launched their new Clubcard. Being the loyalty card junkie, I am now seriously considering whether to stop frequenting Tesco or collect yet another of those plastic thingies that make you spend RM100 just to gain RM1. This is a tough call.

When I got home, as usual Nu'man rummaged through my handbag and purse and started pulling everything out. He then proceeded to arrange all my cards on the floor in a pattern that made sense only to him. As I was putting the cards back into my purse, I noticed that my driving license had already expired - in August this year! Now that's putting a bit of a damper on all the plans for the next couple of weeks. Looks like I'll have to drop by at the post office first thing tomorrow to get it renewed. Can I still renew it after 3 months? I hope they don't make me retake a driving test - I think I'll fail the slope straightaway. Manual pulak tu.

My treasure trove

Since I can't sleep, I plan.

Actually I'm big on planning. At the office, I pin weekly To-Do lists on my cubicle panel, I write them down in my monthly planner, and I key them into my Outlook. And they're all colour-coded as well, depending on job number. Once, I got so excited about the whole thing that I updated the company calendar with my personal appointments by mistake, then found out I couldn't delete or undo them. Fortunately the appointments were neither private nor confidential.

For the past week or so, I've been updating and revising my daily plan for the next three weeks on my PDA. It's filled with the most mundane things, like 'Buy swimsuit for Nuaim', 'pick up Aiesyah's Mykid', etc etc etc. And trips to furniture shops - which is turning out to be something very big on my agenda.

Today, after making a very long overdue visit to my condo, I've concluded that a lot of planning will have to go into the packing for the move to TTDI Jaya. Going through the cupboards and drawers, I realised that Hubby and I have accumulated a large number of knick-knacks and bric-a-brac. There's a lot of stuff that's probably way past its use-by date, and an equal number of things which are still in good condition but I know we'll never really put to use. And the most annoying this is that I still haven't found what I was looking for in the first place.

It's funny - I thought by moving into a bigger house I would have more open space to live in, but it turns out I'll need more furniture to actually keep all my things stored away. Unless we can both stop being sentimental about some of the unused wedding gifts (like Pak Ngah's decorative table lamp that was probably fashionable in the 70's), we'll have to raise our hands and admit to being guilty of hoarding.

And when exactly did we manage to fill up all the shelves with books? That's not even counting the books I still have at Mak's house that never made it to the condo. They're still sitting in a box at the top of the stairs, thoughtfully packed by my sister, to make room in the bookcase we previously shared for her growing collection of books. Not to mention the set of books I splurged on for Nuaim during a Book Fair, and all his other books that are fighting for space in mak's TV cabinet.

So far I've devised a plan to sort out which books will be kept for the move (religion, cookbooks, motivation, self-help, dictionaries) and which will have to go (novels I'll only ever read once). Maybe it's high time I kiss fantasy novels goodbye. Ustaz Ariffin dah cakap buku2 macam ni mengarut, boleh bawa pada syirik.

And don't even get me started on clothes and crockery. At last count, I have 7 teapots, each with a set of matching cups and saucers. Didn't even have to spend a single sen on them.

So now that I've got a rough plan in my head, I keep visualising the implementation. And this is the culprit that's keeping me awake. Until I actually get the work done, I won't be able to sleep on it. I'd initially marked three days to declutter and pack all the stuff, but I think three weeks is more like it. At this rate, I'll be looking like a zombie when I go back to work.

Can't Sleep

It must be the latte.

Confinement officially over as of Saturday 17 Nov 2007!

To celebrate (kononnya) I dropped by the Petronas station at Mutiara Damansara in the afternoon, on the pretext of getting some refreshment for Nuaim. Yeah, right. Actually I couldn't decide on sweet (Dunkin Donuts) or savoury (Burger King) so I asked my hensem boy to choose. Of course he picked the sweet stuff. I got him those little round doughnuts, and a blueberry jam-filled beauty for myself to go with the mocha swirl latte.

I know it ain't no Starbucks (of which I am not really a big fan, truth be told), but after 40 days of abstinence, coffee never tasted so good...

And so here I am, wide awake at 2.45 a.m, planning my next caffeine fix. An affogato, maybe?

My stylus is cramping me...

Today, during my massage session with Kak Yam, she commented that my right wrist was 'loose'.

"Bunyi krekuk-krekuk gitu."

I must be stressing my right hand too much. She then warned me to be careful as it can lead to arthritis. Could it be the onset of CTS?

Must cut down on playing Solitaire and Bubble Breaker on my PDA phone.

How does your garden grow?

One of the things I need to plan for right now is the landscaping for the new house. Now, I am no Lady Greenfingers, and cannot tell one plant for another. I thought it'd be enough to just get rid of the weeds, plant some grass and maybe put in a potted plant or two, but now I'm supposed to pick out the different plants, plan where I want to put them etc.

Mak, of course, has obligingly offered some of her garden's bounty, but I really hope they're the low maintenance type i.e. depends solely on sun and rain to grow. Oh, maybe I'll remember to water them once a week. But I seriously cannot be bothered to remember which one needs pruning, what fertiliser to use etc.

Of course, if I allow my flights of fantasy to take full reign (betul ke ayat tu?) I'd have the whole works thrown in - pergola, gazebo, water feature, professionally designed landscape. And my garden would look like this (picture taken from http://www.rentapot.com.my/):

Maybe my friend Ubi can help...

Revelations

I have discovered a few things during this Confinement (read: self-imposed house arrest):

1. If ever you are planning to become a parent, or even grandparent in the near future, do not invest in any crystal/porcelain/glass filigree decorative items. If you do already have them, make sure you store them away in a lockable cupboard or room. Duct tape only lasts for a couple of weeks. Ain't no mountain too high for two gutsy boys to climb either.
2. Boys, at any age, love hi-tech gadgets. Especially laptops, digital cameras and PDA phones with stylus and QWERTY keypads. Don't even try fooling them with the plastic toy versions. Or any old model that doesn't have a working 2.5" LCD screen.
3. Boys, at any age, love to pretend they're Michael Schumacher - no, make that Lewis Hamilton.
4. The current crop of animated films like Madagascar, Over The Hedge etc may look like they're meant for kids, with all the cute animals and stuff - but they're not. Kids don't get their American jokes, the characters all have grown-up issues and idiosyncrasies and the only thing they pick up is how to behave like a rabid squirrel or a saltwater-spitting giraffe. And lemurs are scary.
5. Newborn baby girls are just as clingy and needy as their firstborn brothers. Well, maybe a notch lower.
6. Denial of the truth is the only acceptable logic for a 3-year-old.
7. Scolding doesn't work. Neither does punishing, reasoning, screaming, ignoring or giving in to their demands. NOTHING WORKS. Just pray and hope they grow out of it.
8. Women should really indulge in their pre-natal food cravings, even during labour. I had cheesecake 4 hours before giving birth to Nu'man and was perfectly happy for months later. But now all I can think of is Spaghetti Carbonara and Caramel Latte.

Just another week and I can finally get some personal space in a shopping complex somewhere.

Long, Long Distance Love Affair - Uh Oh!

Does anyone out there know how much a 4-hour phone call to a Sudan mobile number costs on Maxis's peak hour rates?

I may just have maxed out my credit card unwittingly.

And I didn't even get to speak to Hubby. Boo hoo...

Deepavali Dishy Dude

As part of the Deepavali specials, TV2 aired the Hindi movie Don this afternoon. I was curious to see it as there was so much hype when the movie was released last year. There were Celcom XPax promotional posters in every magazine and newspaper, featuring Shah Rukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra ( another former Miss World-turned-actress but not as ethereally gorgeous as Aishwarya Rai) , Arjun Rampal and Kareena Kapoor. It turned out almost the whole movie was filmed in Malaysia, and even featured Petronas Twin Towers and its skybridge!

I had missed the first ten minutes, and by the time I switched on the TV, Kareena Kapoor's character was about one minute away from her death at the hands of Don. What, you got your picture on the promo poster just for the sake of 5 minutes' appearance in the movie?! Turns out her character and the beauty queen's are sisters, so the latter goes off to seek revenge by infiltrating the bad guys. She does this by rolling over (rather clumsily, I might add) a black Waja driven by Don's sidekicks and pointing a gun at their heads. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Hang on a minute, isn't that Shamser Sidhu?" Well, later on Tony Eusoff, Shaharuddin Thamby and even Tengku Azura joined the party, although without any dialogue whatsoever. Oh, Tengku Azura did get to scream when her character (a nightclub waitress) got shot by a policeman (duh? I'll explain later) but the others were merely filling in the blanks.

Anyway, the movie was a very slick and stylish remake of a 70's movie starring Amitabh Bachchan. I don't know how much of the plot actually differed - I've never seen the original, so I wouldn't be able to compare really. Basically SRK plays big baddie Don, an Indian drug lord who's relocated his operations to Malaysia. Somehow the police honcho, De Silva, nabs the crook and decides to place a Don impostor to retrieve information about his operations. So in goes simpleton Vijay, playacting as Don. Only by the end of the movie, you realise that it never was Vijay but Don himself impersonating Vijay impersonating Don. And that police honcho De Silva is also an impersonator. In truth he is rival baddie Vardhan who wishes to conquer Don's share of the market. And of course there was Priyanka Chopra's character who's also pretending she's a baddie in order to kill the big baddie, but gradually falls in love with him when she realises he's actually goody-goody Vijay, but at the end he reveals himself to be the real baddie and she's missed her chance. Confusing, no?

What I really enjoyed about the movie, though, was this eye candy. His acting's not bad either.

Lovely Ladies

What do these two have in common? Let's see:

1. Out of this world gobsmackingly gorgeous. Must be those eyes...
2. One half of top celebrity couples (although I do not quite see Abhishek's appeal - his dad's got way more charisma than he'll ever have).
3. Successful actresses in their own right.
4. I have girl crushes on both of them.
5. I wish I could look like them.
   
   

Aiesyah is One Month Old!

Today my beautiful baby has reached a major milestone - it's her one-month birthday. In lieu of a celebration (she's not allowed any birthday cakes till she's at least one year old), we took her to the paediatrician for her Hepatitis B jab and check-up. Alhamdulillah, Aiesyah is growing wonderfully, sustained on a diet of on-demand breastmilk. In fact she now weighs 4.5 kg, which accounts for almost 50% of the 10 kg I have lost since giving birth to her. In a couple of weeks she'll probably outgrow half of her new baby clothes - better start shopping for more girly stuff!

She also went through another rite of passage for newborn baby girls - circumcision. This was performed by my gynae in her clinic. Contrary to the misconceptions perpetrated by many Western articles regarding female genital mutilation, the procedure involved making just a small 'nip in the bud', literally. In fact, there was hardly anything removed as far as I could see. Aiesyah, of course, screamed her head off. That drama queen!

We serve to please...or not!

Last week, I had three different experiences with the customer service from three different bodies. let me recount each one.


1. The Customer is King

Or Queen, in my case.

I have to say the people at MPHOnline are really, really nice. I had made several online purchases, which were delivered to me before Aiesyah was born. The order receipt had the correct titles, but they had left out one book and sent me a different title instead. It was from the same authors, though, and the title was almost similar, I suppose it was easy enough to make the mistake.

Anyway, I only called them up about a month after the books had arrived to inform them of the mistake. A lovely lady took the call. Initially she asked if I could walk into their Superstore at Midvalley to make the exchange. When I informed her that I was still in Confinement and could only go after the 17th of November, she politely told me that she would make some other arrangements for my benefit. A couple of hours later, she called me up to tell me that someone from the store would pick up the book from me the next day.

And would you believe it, true to her word, they did send someone over to exchange the book. I was so pleased I put in another online order.


2. The Customer is Right

You know the house renovations I've been blogging about? Well, since the house is still a work in progress, the lawn is in a pretty messy state (more messy than pretty, I can assure you). I still haven't decided on the landscaping. I'd love to be able to squeeze in a swimming pool, a gazebo and a fruit orchard into that little space while still able to build an extension of the house in the future...but I digress.

Anyway, one day a Notice arrives from MBSA (Shah Alam City Council). Apparently I have violated some Local Act by allowing the lawn to become so overgrown and it's become a nuisance to the community. There were even some photos attached to show the state of the lawn. However, the house that was inspected was not my house, but the one across the road with the large lawn I coveted so much. The last time I looked the house was for sale, and it is still unoccupied and untouched. For a moment I did wish it was mine though, but I'm sure it costs a lot more than I can afford on my company loan.

The first time I called up the number printed on the notice, I was told that no one was around as there was a Hari Raya do for the MBSA staff. The next week I called again, but was told that the officer who signed the notice belonged to a different department (apparently the number on the notice was for the Law Department and the issuing officer was from Environment instead or something like that lah). The lady on the other end sounded so 'garang' and wouldn't even ask me what my concern was.

I tried a third time without mentioning the name of the officer but the Act under which the notice was served instead. Finally, they managed to put me through to the correct personnel. It was a gentleman. When I told him that they had served the Notice to the wrong person, he sounded quite worried. He assured me that he would look into the matter and resolve it. Well, to date I have not received any other calls or missives from MBSA, so I assume they must have settled the matter.


3. The Customer is ... what Customer?

This one really got my goat. If I had one. Since I only have a blog, I'm ranting about it here instead.

Hubby and I were mulling over taking up the free 2nd Astro decoder offer and installing it in Nuaim's new 'room' in Mak's house. The original intention is to avoid a noisy showdown between him and my siblings whenever his Animal Planet specials coincide with live EPL matches or box office movies on HBO. We were also wondering whether we could relocate the decoder to TTDI Jaya once we move house, hopefully early next year.

I called up Astro's 1-300 number and was initially greeted by a helpful sounding person. Unfortunately the person wasn't able to give me much help, but gave me a different number to call instead. When I called the given number and asked about the offer, I was redirected to another line. It took some time before this line was connected, and when it did I found myself talking to another lady who sounded so annoyed by having to answer the phone, as if I'd rudely awakened her from her beauty sleep. There also seemed to be another lady in the background having a conversation with her, or maybe it was a case of crossed lines? I couldn't really tell, and when the sleepy lady said to 'call back later' I couldn't tell who she was talking to either. After a couple of seconds I hung up and huffed and puffed for a while.

Anyway, I later found out through Astro's website that the decoder doesn't come with the dish, and would have to remain at the same address as the first decoder for 24 months. We've since decided not to get one until we move house.

I wish I could say that I'd go to another service provider, but there's no real choice in this matter unless I invest in countless DVD's just to keep Nuaim happy. And I miss chilling out on Discovery Travel and Living.

Food Cravings

Someone went to J.Co Donuts and left a half-empty half-dozen pack lying temptingly on the kitchen table. I'd been reading about them week in week out and was dying to have a bite, but my concerns about some of its ingredients being prohibited by Confinement made me put the box into the fridge instead (manalah tau, ada yang cheese topping, tinggal kat luar nanti masam pulak).

Seriously, my food cravings are really strong nowadays. They're worse than pregnancy cravings! But then again, pre-natal food wishlists can be easily satisfied as long as they're reasonably within reach and nothing is exactly off-limits. And during the last pregnancy, I suffered virtually no aversions to anything, so I was able to wolf down burgers, cakes, soft-shell crabs and a whole lot of other stuff to my heart and tummy's content(s).

And this confinement, by contrast, is very limited in terms of the menu being offered - just different varieties of fish (selar, gelama, senangin) but all cooked the same manner. BORING!!!

Somehow I don't remember being so put off by it during the previous two episodes. The first one was by far the most interesting. As I had delivered Nuaim by C-section, ikan haruan featured quite prominently then. And it was cooked in a variety of ways too - grilled, steamed or made into soups with Chinese herbs (this was my favourite). A friend of mine had to eat live baby haruan during her confinement (eeuww!!). However, they're not your typical supermarket fish so unless I have to undergo another major surgery I'm not going to be feasting on this any time soon. I also remember taking a lot of ayam kampung (free-range organic chicken) then which strangely is absent this time round, the tough meat and higher price making it an uncommon dish to be served in our household.

I guess it can't be helped that this being the festive month of Syawal, the house is filled with raya cookies, cakes and chocolates. Normally I don't crave raya cookies but I'm dying to have something sweet to take away the fishy aftertaste. Thank goodness I have rediscovered the joys of breakfast cereals. Gan's mini market stocks a wide variety, some I've never even heard of (Kellogg's Mueslix, anyone? Pretty good too) but at least I wake up looking forward to something.

One thing that I did enjoy, though, was a glass of warm water mixed with honey after each meal. And not just any honey, but a lovely specimen that came all the way from Africa! Very refreshing, not as sugary sweet as the Australian honeys you get in the shops. But sadly between my brother and I we've finished it to the last drop so will have to wait another 50 days before Hubby comes home with some more (I hope he's reading this, HINT HINT!).

Hubby is also picking up some new culinary skills in Sudan, so I'm really looking forward to the foodtasting sessions. And maybe then we'll be able to start our own doughnut franchise, served with Malaysian-style kopi kampung!!!

A Letter for Ayah

Dear Ayah,

It's me. I know, I know, I haven't been visiting you as often as I should, but believe me, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Whenever I come home from work and pass by your place, I wish i could stop by for a while, but I'm always already late and the traffic makes it difficult.

And so I decided to write you a letter. Actually this letter has gone through various revisions in my head, but I thought today would be a good time to actually write it, seeing as it's your birthday.

It has been exactly 10 years and 40 days since you left. For the first 99 days I was in denial. I made up an excuse not to go home immediately after I heard the news, something about not being able to get a flight, but the truth is I just did not want to face the fact of you not being around. Of course I cried when I heard the news, but it was easier to just stay on in England, pretending things were just the same back home. It was only later, much later when I came home for the Christmas holidays that I couldn't deny it any longer. Even then I held those tears back, and it was only on the night of my flight back to London that I eventually broke down. I must have been a funny sight, pining for you after everyone else had gotten over your absence.

There were times during those 10 years when I wished for you to be here, to share my joys and sorrows. But I know I should accept your absence as part of God's great plan. I tell myself, all these years, that you wouldn't have left us behind if we couldn't cope without you. It's just that, you know, there are those special occasions I just wish we could've shared - my graduation, my first day at work, my wedding, and the birth of your three (so far) grandchildren.

Have I ever really told you about the kids? They're real gems, Ayah. Nuaim, apparently takes after you a lot. He's very fair, for one. He shares your penchant for dressing smart. You'll hardly see him in a round-necked T-shirt, that boy. And he's very intelligent, but can get very impatient too if things don't go his way. He's a lot more talkative than you though.

Nu'man - well, he is exactly the opposite. He's the dark and handsome one, always in a hurry but always smiling as well. And he couldn't really care less what clothes he has on. He's still picking up words and is not yet as fluent as Nuaim was at his age, but he more than makes up for it with his athletism. You would have loved them both equally though.

And Aiesyah? Well, it's still too early to tell. So far she seems to be midpoint between the two brothers as far as physical appearances count, but I think she may have a bit of a temper as well.

Have I ever told you, Ayah, that you are my idol? Not just a hero in the father-daughter sense, but really someone I aspire to. I'd like to think I inherit all my good qualities from you, and that I've lived up to your expectations. There were times when I must have disappointed you, although you've never actually said so yourself. I know you really wished that I had reapplied to Imperial College after I failed to make the grade to Cambridge, but my stubborn pride stopped me. They'd rejected me once, and I didn't want to go begging to be let in. Besides, if I hadn't been to King's, who knows if I'd still be where I am now? And I think so far, Alhamdulillah, I'm doing okay. I thought maybe you'd like to know that.

I've got a long way to go yet, Ayah. Yours is a tough act to follow. I might even quit and change directions halfway through, who knows. But I hope that in whatever I do, you would be proud of me.

Rest in peace, Ayah. And one day, I'll take the kids to go visit you.

Wassalam,

Your loving daughter, Dian