Aiesyah is One Month Old!

Today my beautiful baby has reached a major milestone - it's her one-month birthday. In lieu of a celebration (she's not allowed any birthday cakes till she's at least one year old), we took her to the paediatrician for her Hepatitis B jab and check-up. Alhamdulillah, Aiesyah is growing wonderfully, sustained on a diet of on-demand breastmilk. In fact she now weighs 4.5 kg, which accounts for almost 50% of the 10 kg I have lost since giving birth to her. In a couple of weeks she'll probably outgrow half of her new baby clothes - better start shopping for more girly stuff!

She also went through another rite of passage for newborn baby girls - circumcision. This was performed by my gynae in her clinic. Contrary to the misconceptions perpetrated by many Western articles regarding female genital mutilation, the procedure involved making just a small 'nip in the bud', literally. In fact, there was hardly anything removed as far as I could see. Aiesyah, of course, screamed her head off. That drama queen!

Aiesyah's Aqiqah

Last Saturday, Mak hosted the Aqiqah ceremony for her first grand-daughter. She decided on a pink theme, as 'it's a girl this time,' so right from the start Aiesyah is subjected to gender stereotyping (me and my equal opportunities sensibilities!).

The caterer was booked before Hari Raya, and on Friday the workers arrived to set up the marquees with white and pink trimmings. Mak bought fresh pink roses to decorate the house, and Cik Azim was tasked with the flower arrangements. When Nuaim arrived home from Alor Star with his father, brother and grandparernts later that night, he was amazed to see all the preparations. "Bapak nak kawin dengan Ummi ke?"

Everyone was to wear pink the next day. The pink dress Cik Azim bought for Aiesyah fit her perfectly, and we found a hairband among some of the other gifts to match. Nuaim put up a bit of a fit initially (he hates pink) but finally relented, after his favourite grape-coloured baju melayu got all wet from playing with the fish.

The event started with a 'ladies only' marhaban and zanji session at 10.00 a.m. At 11.00 a.m, other guests started to arrive, with Ustaz Ariffin giving a short tadabbur of Surah Maryam. This was followed by the Tahnik, which was also performed by the kind Ustaz.

The food, apparently, was really good. Being on a strict pantang diet, I couldn't partake any of it, although I managed a wee bit of the mutton a'la kuzi gravy (which was absolutely delicious, BTW). For the next baby, I'll insist to have the Aqiqah after the customary 40-day confinement. After all, as Ustaz Ariffin said, what's important is to perform the Aqiqah, the timing itself is secondary (although highly recommended to have it on the 7th day).

Another part of the Aqiqah ceremony also involves Cukur Jambul i.e. cutting or shaving the baby's hair. We didn't have time to do it prperly on Saturday except for a few snips during the marhaban, so Aiesyah got her new haircut on Sunday morning instead.

Pretty pink roses in a vase, surrounded by pretty little fish.

Aiesyah sound asleep on 7 layers of songket, surrounded by ladies reciting the marhaban and zanji. Check out the bling-bling.

A Hari Raya cake (thanks Auntie Sofie!), ketupat daun palas (all the way from Kelantan), kuah kacang and nasi impit to capture the raya mood. After all, it was the 8th day of Syawal.

Nu'man attempting to lead the Zuhur prayers.

Aiesyah being treated to the 'Tok Wan Special' while Bapak holds her steady. Tok Wan has always shaved his own grandchildren's hair and insists on the old-style razor to do the job.

Eid Mubarak 1428H

To all fellow Muslims, I wish you all Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin.

... and to my sister,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CIK AZIM!!!

The Blind Beggar

Someone emailed me this story today. Although I've read several versions of it already in the past, it never fails to move me to tears.

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In the days of the prophet Muhammad S.A.W., there lived a blind Jewish beggar in the market of Madinah. Everyday he would tell those who cared to listen that Muhammad was a crazy man, a liar and a magician, and warned them against approaching the prophet for fear of being influenced by him.

Each morning, however, Muhammad would bring some food to the blind beggar and feed him without ever speaking a word to his critic. This happened without fail until Muhammad passed away.

One day, Muhammad's companion and father-in-law, Abu Bakar R.A. went to visit his daughter, Aishah R.A., who was Muhammad's widow. He asked her, "My daughter, are there any of my beloved (Muhammad's) habits that I have not yet performed?"

Aishah replied, "My father, you are a faithful follower who has done almost everything except one."

"What is that?"

"Every morning Muhammad would go to the market and take food to a blind Jewish beggar there."

So the next morning, Abu Bakar R.A. went to the market with some food. As he approached the beggar and started to feed him, the beggar scowled angrily and said, "Who are you?"

Abu Bakar replied, "I am the one who normally comes t0 visit you."

The blind man retorted, "No, you are not he. When he comes here, I do not have difficulty in handling and chewing the food. That man feeds me, but not until he has softened the food considerably does he bring it to my mouth."

At this, Abu Bakar could no longer hold back his tears and confessed to the blind man, "You are right, I am not that man. I am one of his companions. That noble person is no longer with us. He was Muhammad S.A.W."

The blind beggar, shocked to to the core, started to sob, "Is this true? All this while I have been insulting and spreading slanders against him, but he has never hurt me, instead he provides me with food every day. He is indeed pure and noble."

The beggar then repented and pronounced the Syahadah, witnessed by Abu Bakar. From that day forth he became a Muslim.

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How easy it is for us to get angry and retaliate at the slightest provocation! How many of us can truly say that we are as forgiving and generous as Rasulullah?

Back in Malaysia

I'm back.

Well, Ive actually been back for more than a fortnight already, but I was so engrossed in catching up with my sons (how quickly they've grown!) that I just couldn't be bothered about updating the blog. Have been thinking about it lots though, and planning to put up photos and all, but it'll probably turn into a mini tutorial of 'How to Perform Haj and Umrah.'

Anyway, the first question everyone asked me since I've been home is 'How was it?'

It's a really difficult question to answer. There's no one word that describes the feeling, the whole experience of it all. Mega stupendously brilliant doesn't even come close. Because performing Haj is a series of rituals and worshipping acts in so many different places and circumstances, it's so many things added up together - humbling, uplifting, awe-inspiring, sometimes frightening, exciting, peaceful, joyful, sad. I tried explaining it to a friend, but she couldn't understand it. It truly is something you have to experience yourself. So my advice for those of you contemplating the Haj is

GO GO GO!

And do it while you're still young and healthy and have the energy. Allah knows there are enough elderly people there who need a young helping hand. And some of the rituals can be physically draining. It's not just the act itself (imagine walking across 3 km of cold marble in bare feet - for the men at least, we ladies get to wear socks.) but the fact that there's a sea - no, make it an ocean of humanity doing it with you. I'm probably the most unfit 30-year-old I know, but it's still woprth doing it before you hit the big 4-0.

I'll write more and share photos in my next post. Need to go do my prayers now.

Labbaik Allahumma labbaik...

In about 4 hours, I'll be stepping out of my mum's house, fully garbed in white from my head to my toes on my way to answer Allah's call to his Holy House. I am feeling both nervous and excited - nervous because I feel so unprepared, so unworthy of being his guest in the most barakah of places, hoping no ill befalls me. But excited because the last (and first) time I went to Makkah was 17 years ago, and I only remember bits of the trip.

One thing I do remember is that feeling of awe when praying at the Masjidil Haram - as I get up from teh rukuk or sujud, my eyes will befall the Kaabah right in front of me. Not an embroidered or painted image on the prayer mat at home, but the REAL thing. And it really hits you then: ALLAHU AKBAR. God is Great.

And Great is HE in welcoming me to his Holy House - small, lowly, unworthy me. This will be my last post till I come back home in 45 days, InsyaAllah. Till then, take care everyone.

Be good.

Preparing for the greatest journey of my life.

Last Monday, 11 a.m. I received an SMS from Mak. It read:

Alhamdulillah..just frm tabung haji. cnfrm.

So this is it, people. My lucky number is up. If all goes according to plan,God-willing, I'm going to be joining the estimated 3 million Muslims from around the world congregating in a desert in Saudi Arabia on the 9th of Zulhijjah, 1427 H.

Yeah, I know, it comes as a surprise to most of you. The only people who really know of my plans are those at the office. Well, it'd be a bit of a bummer if I just suddenly disappear for 45 days without prior notice, wouldn't it? And they only found out because everyone had to prepare a Leave Plan from October to March next year. I didn't really want to talk about it until I really know for sure that I'd be going - I've been on the standby list since early this year. And even then I wasn't too sure whether I really did want to go either. All these excuses were swimming in my head - the kids are too young, too much work at the office, I'm not ready (orang Melayu kata tak sampai seru kononnya), etc etc etc. But then, it's the same as donning the hijab, isn't it? We are never really ready unless we make a commitment to be ready for it. And the last couple of weeks have reaffirmed my commitment.

On the 11th and 12th, I had to attend a state-level assembly for all the bakal-bakal haji. It was held at the Shah Alam Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah Mosque, and we were supposed to stay the night (I didn't, because I met my neighbours there and they decided to go back home so I hitched a ride with them). The assembly was meant to be as practical as possible, so we had to put on the ihram garments at the appropriate moments to perform the tawaf around a dummy Kaabah, walk the Sa'ie along the pavement, and stone the Jamrah. For good measure, we did the stonepicking at night.

But what really had an impact on me was the sheer size of the congregation. At the mosque, there were about 3000 of us, from just one state. Imagine a sea of people all clothed in white. The first time I entered the Hall for the first briefing, I just went 'WOW'!!! Multiply that by 10 and that's about the number of Malaysian pilgrims in total. And multiply that by 100 for the whole congregation in Arafah. And 5 million people at the Masjidil-Haram for each congregational prayer.

During mealtimes , when everyone's rushing and pushing to grab their food, you can see and hear the patience dissipating. And to think this isn't even one percent of what we're going to face in Makkah. With people from all over the world, speaking different languages, hardly understanding one another. And yet patience is the currency to earn Haji Mabrur. The thought of it is scary, but thrilling at the same time.

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Anyway, there are several things I need to do before I leave on the 23rd of December.

Number 1: Pay off all my debts.
If I owe you anything, especially in terms of material possessions, please claim it from me. I may have nicked or borrowed a few stuff from people at school or the office (maybe intentionally or unintentionally) and forgot to return them. And I'm about to make a confession here (well, three, actually), stuff I borrowed from my juniors in Seremban (shock! horror!) but never got round to returning them. And the worst bit is I don't remember the girls names:

1) A set of three books written by Christopher Pike, the 'Final Friends' series. The owner is two years my junior (Form One 1991), from blue house, and I think she performed in the English drama in her freshie concert but I hardly saw her acting after that. I think she was Noor Farilla's starter. Anyway, she was so nice to lend me all three when I only wanted to read one, but I in turn lent them to some friends and never quite got them back. The worst part is, the books apparently were bought in the UK (according to an inscription in the front cover), so even though they were available in Malaysia, there must've been some sentimental value attached to them. I never got round to replacing those books.

2) A small torchlight from one of my younger Freshie Sisters (Form One 1992) yellow house. I think she was in the Freshie Concert English drama for her batch, although I can't quite remember what character she played. I borrowed the torchlight for one of the Police Cadet camping trips. I think she wore a tudung and spoke with a slight lisp.

3) Now this one is tricky. She's also one of my Freshie sisters, also from yellow house. She was in English drama too, and I think she played the 'male interest' (hey, all girls' school, have to make do lah). I remember her having short curly hair. The trouble is, I can't remember what I borrowed from her. It must've been something small and inexpensive, like a pair of scissors or something.

So is this bad or what? I feel really terrible - 13 years on and I still have this hanging on my head. And me being Head Prefect and all. Well, who says I'm perfect?

I just hope that, even if the three of you are not reading this, that you have found it in your hearts to forgive me. I'm planning to donate an equivalent sum to a charity, and I hope the pahala of those deeds are accredited to you. If anyone does know how to contact these girls (gosh, they'd be 27 now) please get in touch with me so I can contact them before I leave.

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan...

It's the fasting month again, and I'm trying very hard to stay focused at work. Obviously I'm not because I'm blogging right now, but I deserve a break after facing the PC for almost 5 hours non-stop, right?

As usual every Ramadhan I plan to attend the Terawih prayers and read the whole Qur'an. I think I'm already on the road to failure on both counts. The first time I attended Terawih at the mosque on the eve of Ramadhan, I was so sleepy that the patterns on the sejadah in front of me were dancing around and taking different shapes altogether. It's even possible that I was asleep with my eyes open! I could barely finish the 20 rakaat prayer that night. The second night I skipped due to a headache, and last night I only did 8 and waited for my family to complete the full set. And I haven't even started the Qur'an yet - my youngest sister has already read 4 juzuk!

The good thing about the fasting month is that we're allowed to leave the office by 4 pm. Of course, we're encouraged come in early and work through lunch, but who really checks? Besides, I still have last month's hours to make up for, the days when I sauntered in at 8.45 and still had the gall to leave at 5 pm sharp. Since Ramadhan started I've managed to make it here by 7.30 a.m. so that should more or less cover up for the lost time.

I really need to go to the shops and run some errands for Mak right now. She's going for Umrah on the 12th - that's a day before my sister's 21st birthday - and she asked me to get a battery for her free-issue Tabung Haji watch and a thermos flask. I bought the flask a couple of days ago at Parkson Grand, then discovered in their in-store magazine that I'm entitled to a free pouch and the flask should've cost about RM 14 less, so I plan to assert my consumer rights and politely demand that they provide me with said items.

Maybe I should buy a small Qur'an at Kinokuniya as well, so I can start reading at the office during my 'lunch' breaks. I've got a lot of catching up to do.

To all Muslim readers, Have a Blessed Ramadhan!