The Truth About Men & Women

... or "Typical (Mis)communication Problems."

A TV show I saw recently brought this particular thought to mind. I am sure many women can agree with this entry.

I'll start with a question to our dear partners:

When your wife or dear lady friend tells you her problems, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

Yes, I'm sure that 99.99% of you will immediately try to think of a solution. And that 99.99% of you felt that you did not receive the thanks you deserved for coming up with that solution. Instead, you get a stare, a pout, a cold shoulder and an even colder bed.

Do you know why?

Because when women talk about their problems, they do not necessarily want you to solve it for them. Most of the time they can deal with it themselves, and the reason for talking about it is just that - to talk about it.

It means a great deal for a woman to be able to share her experience of the problem, and even more that she has managed to solve it on her own. There may be times when we need to let off steam - which I tend to do by making a really big fuss about nothing - but unless we specifically ask for help, we're actually doing okay. The last thing we need is for someone to provide UNSOLICITED advice.

Now this begs another question:

Why do men feel the need to solve every problem that is presented to them?

Somehow, their brains are programmed to make a seemingly logical deduction that every problem discussed requires a solution. Maybe it's all that 'Damsel in distress. Knight in Shining armour' stories we were fed while we were young. But while the female of the species learned to grow out of it, our men didn't. I suspect it also has to do with machoism i.e. to maintain that persona of having everything under control. I mean, how many guys do you see actually discuss their problems with you? Or even among themselves?

As for me, having spent most of the last 3 years with my husband on another continent, I have learnt to be self-sufficient during his 60-day on-duty periods. There are times, when I've had a particularly tough day, when he admits to feeling 'helpless that he's so far away he can't do anything about it.'

Well dear, you don't have to. You can save all that effort for the 18 days when you ARE home.

So gents, I have this piece of advice for you:

Listen carefully when a woman talks about her problems. Only provide a solution or try to help when she SPECIFICALLY asks for one.

This should really be written in a manual for men-women communication. But how many men do you know will actually read manuals?