Preparing for the greatest journey of my life.

Last Monday, 11 a.m. I received an SMS from Mak. It read:

Alhamdulillah..just frm tabung haji. cnfrm.

So this is it, people. My lucky number is up. If all goes according to plan,God-willing, I'm going to be joining the estimated 3 million Muslims from around the world congregating in a desert in Saudi Arabia on the 9th of Zulhijjah, 1427 H.

Yeah, I know, it comes as a surprise to most of you. The only people who really know of my plans are those at the office. Well, it'd be a bit of a bummer if I just suddenly disappear for 45 days without prior notice, wouldn't it? And they only found out because everyone had to prepare a Leave Plan from October to March next year. I didn't really want to talk about it until I really know for sure that I'd be going - I've been on the standby list since early this year. And even then I wasn't too sure whether I really did want to go either. All these excuses were swimming in my head - the kids are too young, too much work at the office, I'm not ready (orang Melayu kata tak sampai seru kononnya), etc etc etc. But then, it's the same as donning the hijab, isn't it? We are never really ready unless we make a commitment to be ready for it. And the last couple of weeks have reaffirmed my commitment.

On the 11th and 12th, I had to attend a state-level assembly for all the bakal-bakal haji. It was held at the Shah Alam Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah Mosque, and we were supposed to stay the night (I didn't, because I met my neighbours there and they decided to go back home so I hitched a ride with them). The assembly was meant to be as practical as possible, so we had to put on the ihram garments at the appropriate moments to perform the tawaf around a dummy Kaabah, walk the Sa'ie along the pavement, and stone the Jamrah. For good measure, we did the stonepicking at night.

But what really had an impact on me was the sheer size of the congregation. At the mosque, there were about 3000 of us, from just one state. Imagine a sea of people all clothed in white. The first time I entered the Hall for the first briefing, I just went 'WOW'!!! Multiply that by 10 and that's about the number of Malaysian pilgrims in total. And multiply that by 100 for the whole congregation in Arafah. And 5 million people at the Masjidil-Haram for each congregational prayer.

During mealtimes , when everyone's rushing and pushing to grab their food, you can see and hear the patience dissipating. And to think this isn't even one percent of what we're going to face in Makkah. With people from all over the world, speaking different languages, hardly understanding one another. And yet patience is the currency to earn Haji Mabrur. The thought of it is scary, but thrilling at the same time.

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Anyway, there are several things I need to do before I leave on the 23rd of December.

Number 1: Pay off all my debts.
If I owe you anything, especially in terms of material possessions, please claim it from me. I may have nicked or borrowed a few stuff from people at school or the office (maybe intentionally or unintentionally) and forgot to return them. And I'm about to make a confession here (well, three, actually), stuff I borrowed from my juniors in Seremban (shock! horror!) but never got round to returning them. And the worst bit is I don't remember the girls names:

1) A set of three books written by Christopher Pike, the 'Final Friends' series. The owner is two years my junior (Form One 1991), from blue house, and I think she performed in the English drama in her freshie concert but I hardly saw her acting after that. I think she was Noor Farilla's starter. Anyway, she was so nice to lend me all three when I only wanted to read one, but I in turn lent them to some friends and never quite got them back. The worst part is, the books apparently were bought in the UK (according to an inscription in the front cover), so even though they were available in Malaysia, there must've been some sentimental value attached to them. I never got round to replacing those books.

2) A small torchlight from one of my younger Freshie Sisters (Form One 1992) yellow house. I think she was in the Freshie Concert English drama for her batch, although I can't quite remember what character she played. I borrowed the torchlight for one of the Police Cadet camping trips. I think she wore a tudung and spoke with a slight lisp.

3) Now this one is tricky. She's also one of my Freshie sisters, also from yellow house. She was in English drama too, and I think she played the 'male interest' (hey, all girls' school, have to make do lah). I remember her having short curly hair. The trouble is, I can't remember what I borrowed from her. It must've been something small and inexpensive, like a pair of scissors or something.

So is this bad or what? I feel really terrible - 13 years on and I still have this hanging on my head. And me being Head Prefect and all. Well, who says I'm perfect?

I just hope that, even if the three of you are not reading this, that you have found it in your hearts to forgive me. I'm planning to donate an equivalent sum to a charity, and I hope the pahala of those deeds are accredited to you. If anyone does know how to contact these girls (gosh, they'd be 27 now) please get in touch with me so I can contact them before I leave.

My little open house weekend adventure

The weekend's come and gone, and my forecasted binge didn't quite materialise. I did attend all 3 open houses I was invited to, but spent half the time chasing after Nuaim that I was hardly ever full.

First one up was AND's on Saturday, in Ara Damansara. His invite said 3-6 pm, but I only arrived at 5 as I had promised to take Nuaim along after his afternoon nap. Actually, I was ready to leave without him when he woke up and saw me putting on my headscarf. After a quick wash, he put on his purple Baju Melayu and matching kain sampin (this boy definitely knows how to dress to impress, I tell you) and off we went.

I'd been to Ara Damansara before, to some other friends' homes, but this was in a different part of the residential area. The map provided was quite easy to read, so I managed the trip with no one else but Nuaim for company. What I wasn't prepared for was the playground in front of the house. The other kids had their daddies to accompany them, and Nuaim was quite keen to follow, but the dark clouds and impending rain put him off. I was lucky to reach the car and leave just before the torrential downpour began. Didn't even have time to rescue the bit of chicken satay that flew out of my hand and into the corner of the living room (if you're reading, AND, it's just behind the curtains of the sliding door. Sorry about that).

Today there were two houses to go to, in the general area of Shah Alam. One was a yearly affair by FR, an old school friend (who actually has her do at her parents' house in upscale Glenmarie Court), and the other was my Deputy Project Manager's in equally impressive Bukit Jelutong. I decided this time to go at noon, intending to arrive in Bukit Jelutong by 1 pm and leave for FR's an hour later.

I got lost twice in Bukit Jelutong. The map showed two ways of getting there, and the route I took was longer than it looked on paper. The first wrong junction took me to a highly exclusive enclave of BJ, where each bungalow had a unique design, and some were still under construction. I realised I was lost when all the roads read Jalan Menara when I was supposed to be on Jalan Birai. The next wrong junction led me to Jalan Bidai. At first I was convinced I got it right, that maybe it was a typo error on the map. There was even a home made signboard saying 'OPEN HOUSE'. But after going round in circles and ending up in dead ends, I headed back to the main road. By then Nuaim was already fast asleep in his car seat.

Heading towards the new Guthrie expressway, I finally found the right street and located the house (the cars leading up to a solitary canopy tent in the middle of the road was a big clue). I had to carry Nuaim, as he was still half asleep, but I managed to feed him some chicken satay and rice. He behaved well enough, except when I 'ter'fed him something spicy (bad, bad Mommy!).

At two, we left for FR's. The route from Bukit Jelutong to Glenmarie was not too familiar to me, and I almost got lost again. Halfway there I remembered that the house had a pond of koi fish, which should keep Nuaim occupied while I helped myself to the food. Oh, goody!!

What I did not reckon on was the decorative stone fish spouting water into the pond. At first Nuaim seemed happy to just look at the koi swimming lazily about, and walking up and down the ramp leading to the back gate. Then, just as I was warming up to the company, Nuaim decided to perform his idea of wudhu' using the spouting fish. He later proceeded to give his toy truck a wash, getting himself half-wet in the process. I had to make a quick exit before he decided to get himself truly drenched by jumping into the pond (apparently some other kid has done that before), but only after FR took a photo with us, wet toy truck and all. When I get that picture, I'll put it up here for posterity.

Another picture I'd like to put up is of one of the houses in Glenmarie Court. The first time I saw it was last year, when I attended FR's open house with Hubby. We decided to take a tour around the gated residential area (it's not everyday we get to gawk at rich people's homes, Hubby said) and saw this huge, white, classical style building that reminded me more of a European museum than a Malaysian house. Even had its own TNB mini-substation!! Must remember to to ask FR who it belongs to. I snapped a picture with my new (and free!) Motorola L6, and would've taken a few more, but I didn't want the car behind me to think I was a stalker. Some day, when I get the phone's data cable and phone tools (not free!) sorted out, I'll get the photo up here so we can all gawk together, okay?

I'm planning to start my Puasa 6 tomorrow. Target completion: Tuesday 14th Nov. Or Wednesday. As long as it's complete before the department's Makan-makan on Thursday.

P/S 8 Nov 2006 - Received Nuaim's photo from Freida yesterday. The dastardly fish is on the right, next to the labu sayung. He's wearing the new baju lawa I bought him to appease for the plain one I bought earlier.

Counting My Blessings

This morning we had a meeting to address the project's schedule slippage. We've got another five months to complete the job, and less than half the required manpower to complete it. So the first stop gap measure that management has come up with is for us to work overtime.

Now, being executives, we're not entitled to claim monetary compensation for the overtime hours. The only carrot being offered is day off in lieu, but only if we put in at least an extra 4 hours after 5 pm. Per day. Oh yes, and dinner.

I'm not complaining here. I've been doing this since my first year in this job. Not from the first day though - those weeks were easy, when I didn't have a real project to my name. But it's been the norm for me to stay late at the office for various reasons. Sometimes it's the work, other times it's the traffic or weather. And of course, at one time, it was a love interest. But now love interest is marital spouse and far away in Sudan.

Despite the perfect setting for doom and gloom, I still feel pretty positive about my life in general. And this is why:

1. I am blessed with a husband who loves me and fancies me like mad. He may not be rich, nor is he the handsomest man in the universe, but he truly appreciates me despite all my faults (although sometimes I wish he'd display his appreciation in more affectionate ways).
2. I am blessed with a beautiful, intelligent son (my first) who can charm the pants off a 90-year-old crone.
3. I am blessed with a healthy, strong, tenacious son (my second) who could probably pull off a virgin maid's chastity belt with his bare hands.
4. My in-laws treat me and accept me as their own daughter, and, since they don't have any daughters of their own, that's a very privileged position to be in. So much so that I happily spent 9 days of my Raya holidays with them, in Alor Setar, despite my husband not being there with me.
5. My job, despite it's wacky schedule and near impossible targets, has enough challenges that gives me immense satisfaction when I overcome them. And although sometimes my superiors give me tasks beyond my job scope, it allows me to develop and discover new talents I never knew I had. And my colleagues and subordinates are wonderful people to work with.

All in all, I'm in a pretty comfortable position right now. I just hope it stays that way.

Right, looking forward to a weekend of binging now. I got three open houses to go to. Looks like I'll have to put off my Puasa 6 till next week.

Be good y'all.

I'm still at the office.

At 7.45 pm.

On a Thursday night. Friday eve, a holy night for Muslims.

I should be at home already, praying, reciting the Yasin.



Blegh.