- I have to learn to delegate my work. This involves trusting others to perform up to my standards, and also to be less rigid if things are not done exactly the way I would do it.
- To get things done, I have to give just the right amount of coaching and direction, without going overboard and micromanaging. See item 1.
- If people are not as self-starting or take enough initiative, I have to deal with it and not wait for that person to receive his/her comeuppance. See item 2.
- If I don't agree with how things are done, deal with it constructively. Don't GRUMBLE in front of everyone but the person-in-charge! See item 1, but this is in relation to bosses!!
Thursday, 17 August 2006
Reflections on Self Development
Things I need to work on:
Monday, 14 August 2006
It's SHOWTIME!!!
Having missed the first season, I was looking forward to catch the Puteri Gunung Ledang musical in its second run at the Istana Budaya. Since Hubby is only coming back after the run finishes on 20th Aug, I bought tickets to watch the matinee on Saturday with my sister instead. My mum and two other sisters caught an earlier show, and reviews were encouraging, especially AC Mizal’s portrayal of Gusti Adipati, the Majapahit ruler.
So did I enjoy the show? Let me just say that despite all the reviews (on par with West End & Broadway productions, according to some newspapers) I decided beforehand not to put my hopes up too high, lest I end up being sorely disappointed. And I’m glad I didn’t.
By Malaysian standards, it was a very ambitious production, and again by Malaysian standards it succeeded on certain levels. The set was pretty impressive, the score was good, albeit a bit too contemporary for me. I was hoping for something more like the M. Nasir-Siti Nurhaliza duet ‘Bagaikan Sakti’ that was the movie’s theme song, but the music was all new. I did enjoy Sultan Mahmud of Melaka’s jazzy number though, which was unexpected (jazz tunes in 15th century Malaya?) but somehow it portrayed the character to a tee. You could see a lot of heart and soul went into the show, but unfortunately, and especially for the title character, the passion could not quite make up for the lack of natural talent.
Oh yes, she did win Best Actress at the Malaysian and Asia Pacific film festivals, and she did spend weeks in a Javanese keraton learning the ropes of a Majapahit princess (method acting you!!) but this is after all a musical, where more than half of the dialogue is in song. With all due respect Datin Seri, you’re a brilliant thespian and dancer (probably better than anyone else on stage in these two departments) but you ain’t no Lea Salonga. It was especially jarring whenever she launched her mediocre vocals into a duet with the formally trained Stephen Rahman-Hughes, and there was one cringe-worthy bit where she seemed to have lost her note. I was almost wishing that I had bought tickets for the show with the alternate cast instead. As it turned out, AC Mizal wasn’t playing Adipati that day, and the understudy, though physically impressive, did not quite have the booming voice that would strike fear into you.
But at least I’ve watched it, and although for me it’s not exactly at par with Miss Saigon, we’re getting there.
So did I enjoy the show? Let me just say that despite all the reviews (on par with West End & Broadway productions, according to some newspapers) I decided beforehand not to put my hopes up too high, lest I end up being sorely disappointed. And I’m glad I didn’t.
By Malaysian standards, it was a very ambitious production, and again by Malaysian standards it succeeded on certain levels. The set was pretty impressive, the score was good, albeit a bit too contemporary for me. I was hoping for something more like the M. Nasir-Siti Nurhaliza duet ‘Bagaikan Sakti’ that was the movie’s theme song, but the music was all new. I did enjoy Sultan Mahmud of Melaka’s jazzy number though, which was unexpected (jazz tunes in 15th century Malaya?) but somehow it portrayed the character to a tee. You could see a lot of heart and soul went into the show, but unfortunately, and especially for the title character, the passion could not quite make up for the lack of natural talent.
Oh yes, she did win Best Actress at the Malaysian and Asia Pacific film festivals, and she did spend weeks in a Javanese keraton learning the ropes of a Majapahit princess (method acting you!!) but this is after all a musical, where more than half of the dialogue is in song. With all due respect Datin Seri, you’re a brilliant thespian and dancer (probably better than anyone else on stage in these two departments) but you ain’t no Lea Salonga. It was especially jarring whenever she launched her mediocre vocals into a duet with the formally trained Stephen Rahman-Hughes, and there was one cringe-worthy bit where she seemed to have lost her note. I was almost wishing that I had bought tickets for the show with the alternate cast instead. As it turned out, AC Mizal wasn’t playing Adipati that day, and the understudy, though physically impressive, did not quite have the booming voice that would strike fear into you.
But at least I’ve watched it, and although for me it’s not exactly at par with Miss Saigon, we’re getting there.
Friday, 11 August 2006
A little dash of nostalgia
Due to the transformation the company is undergoing, we've been requested to relocate to different premises to make way for a sister unit. Today the company organised a Spring Cleaning exercise to facilitate a'lean and mean' relocation. Apparently we're only allowed one box of personal items per person in the new office. I don't foresee myself moving into the new office anyway - probably shipped off to Kerteh or wherever directly from this project - but I still had to sort out the junk from the useful stuff. Thirty minutes and I should be able to get rid of all the junk
Problem is, while they may look like junk to everyone else, all those files and folders are important to me. Two hours on and my old desk looked no different from when I started. I found myself on a sentimental journey, flipping through pages and remembering the sweat and tears I put in for this job or that, the long hours and nightmares I endured to come up with a project ITB that earned me two lines of praise from the client. This is all of my working life, this is all of the experiences and lessons of six years as a dedicated employee of this company. It was difficult for me to let things go, if only for the memories that they evoked.
Even more heart-wrenching was all those business improvement initiatives that I partook in. A friend jokingly called me the Company mascot after I participated in a company Branding workshop. And there was the Growth Strategy Study, when I spent half a day after my wedding finalising the presentation materials. Back then I was swept up in the dreams and visions of greatness, but that has all disappeared in a puff of smoke. All for nothing.
Yes, yes, I know I should be looking at the bigger picture, and I know that most of us are still secured of a job in the new set-up, but I still can't help feeling like the sacrificial lamb.
Problem is, while they may look like junk to everyone else, all those files and folders are important to me. Two hours on and my old desk looked no different from when I started. I found myself on a sentimental journey, flipping through pages and remembering the sweat and tears I put in for this job or that, the long hours and nightmares I endured to come up with a project ITB that earned me two lines of praise from the client. This is all of my working life, this is all of the experiences and lessons of six years as a dedicated employee of this company. It was difficult for me to let things go, if only for the memories that they evoked.
Even more heart-wrenching was all those business improvement initiatives that I partook in. A friend jokingly called me the Company mascot after I participated in a company Branding workshop. And there was the Growth Strategy Study, when I spent half a day after my wedding finalising the presentation materials. Back then I was swept up in the dreams and visions of greatness, but that has all disappeared in a puff of smoke. All for nothing.
Yes, yes, I know I should be looking at the bigger picture, and I know that most of us are still secured of a job in the new set-up, but I still can't help feeling like the sacrificial lamb.
Saturday, 29 July 2006
One of those days
I had one of those 'this can't be happening to me' days recently. One wrong thing after another.
The roads around KLCC were partially closed due to the ASEAN conference going on the whole week. Expecting massive jams, I decided to take the LRT to work. One day, as my brother was sending me off to the Bangsar station, I noticed that I'd left my handphone at home. No matter, I could always call him from the office to pick me up later. Then as I fumbled in my bag for my Touch n Go, I saw that my security pass was missing too. I made a mental note to pick up a temporary pass from the front desk when I reached my destination.
So there I was, striding purposefully towards the female security personnel, when I opened my purse to get my IC and - it wasn't there. Mentally I placed the blame on Nuaim, who is always emptying my purse of all my cards and cash. Panic started to mount when I couldn't find my driving license either. I quickly racked through my mind, trying to remember where I had placed these items as everything else was in place. Then it occurred to me that I had taken out my IC and driving card and placed them into a dinner purse when attending a kenduri last weekend. Kesian Nuaim tak pasal-pasal kena blame.
According to the big sign in front of me, I could only get the temporary pass in exchange for an IC, driving license or passport. As I had neither of these on my person, I smiled sheepishly at the female PB, wondering silently whether I could use one of my store loyalty cards instead. Was she going to turn me in for failing to carry my IC with me at all times? There's no jail sentence, is there?
The PB smiled back, trying very hard not to laugh. She asked if I could call a friend who would sign in on my behalf, but as I didn't have my phone with me, I couldn't reach anyone. The only person whose office number I remember happens to be my boss, and he was the last person I wanted to share this predicament with - though I have no qualms telling everyone else who bothers reading this blog what an airhead I can be.
I turned around, almost determined to take the LRT back home to collect all the forgotten stuff when thankfully enough I saw a colleague walking into the lobby. He obligingly 'lent' me his identity for the day.
That night I packed everything meticulously into my bag, and placed it right next to the bed. I'm not forgetting YOU anytime soon.
The roads around KLCC were partially closed due to the ASEAN conference going on the whole week. Expecting massive jams, I decided to take the LRT to work. One day, as my brother was sending me off to the Bangsar station, I noticed that I'd left my handphone at home. No matter, I could always call him from the office to pick me up later. Then as I fumbled in my bag for my Touch n Go, I saw that my security pass was missing too. I made a mental note to pick up a temporary pass from the front desk when I reached my destination.
So there I was, striding purposefully towards the female security personnel, when I opened my purse to get my IC and - it wasn't there. Mentally I placed the blame on Nuaim, who is always emptying my purse of all my cards and cash. Panic started to mount when I couldn't find my driving license either. I quickly racked through my mind, trying to remember where I had placed these items as everything else was in place. Then it occurred to me that I had taken out my IC and driving card and placed them into a dinner purse when attending a kenduri last weekend. Kesian Nuaim tak pasal-pasal kena blame.
According to the big sign in front of me, I could only get the temporary pass in exchange for an IC, driving license or passport. As I had neither of these on my person, I smiled sheepishly at the female PB, wondering silently whether I could use one of my store loyalty cards instead. Was she going to turn me in for failing to carry my IC with me at all times? There's no jail sentence, is there?
The PB smiled back, trying very hard not to laugh. She asked if I could call a friend who would sign in on my behalf, but as I didn't have my phone with me, I couldn't reach anyone. The only person whose office number I remember happens to be my boss, and he was the last person I wanted to share this predicament with - though I have no qualms telling everyone else who bothers reading this blog what an airhead I can be.
I turned around, almost determined to take the LRT back home to collect all the forgotten stuff when thankfully enough I saw a colleague walking into the lobby. He obligingly 'lent' me his identity for the day.
That night I packed everything meticulously into my bag, and placed it right next to the bed. I'm not forgetting YOU anytime soon.
Saturday, 22 July 2006
Mega Sale!!!
Tis the season to spend spend spend!
Today is the official launching of the nationwide Mega Sale, where supposedly everything in the country goes for a discounted price. Yeah right. I've fallen for it before, but it's not going to stop me from shopping. And it's happening right on my office doorstep.
Note to self: Suria KLCC 3-hour spendilicious sale on Monday 6 pm. I'm going to buy me these:
Today is the official launching of the nationwide Mega Sale, where supposedly everything in the country goes for a discounted price. Yeah right. I've fallen for it before, but it's not going to stop me from shopping. And it's happening right on my office doorstep.
Note to self: Suria KLCC 3-hour spendilicious sale on Monday 6 pm. I'm going to buy me these:
- A nice, proper watch for work. The one I'm wearing has become Nuaim's teething toy, despite him being beyond the teething phase by at least 18 months.
- Those lovely Hush Puppies shoes with the cute bows, even if they're not on sale. I can fully justify buying them, and I'll win the argument. I was a champion debater, you know.
Tuesday, 18 July 2006
Rindu Semakin Jauh
I think I'm going through the 'Mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena' phase. So far only the eating and sleeping (or lack thereof) symptoms of the 'missing-you' syndrome have manifested themselves, but based on good IPS engineering practices, 2oo3 failures should be enough to trip the system. And boy am I tripping! Not good for maintaining breastmilk supply either. My production rate has dropped by half.
I had been caught up in the excitement of a new baby and coming back to work to notice Hubby's absence for the last month. I've realised that, pre-Sudan job, the longest I've ever been away from him is 3 weeks. And even then we were still in the same time zone, so my leisure time did not clash with his working hours, or vice versa. Right now, several thousand km and 5 hours apart, the distance has finally got to me. It sucks when he calls and our conversation is interrupted by requests to check whether the hydrotest for System 32 has been completed, or whether the Material Requisition for Anti-Surge Valves will be ready in time for the next shutdown. The result of which both the quality of my conversation and my work deteriorates.
One of my colleagues recently had to take a week off because the workload really got to him and stressed him out. He's back at work, looking a bit pale but happier now that we've acknowledged the problem. At least, I hope he's happier because I certainly didn't realised he was that depressed. Maybe I was just too absorbed in my own little world to notice.
It did get me thinking though, whether this is all really worth the effort. Some days I feel all charged up, ready to take on the world and everything life has to throw at me. These are my super-efficient, highly productive moments. Sadly those moments are scarce and far between nowadays. Where it once took me just 3 weeks to produce 4 technical specifications and 13 datasheets, I now take almost a month to produce only 1 document. It doesn't help that the PM is targetting for December to complete the engineering phase!
At times like these I really need my emotional punchbag. It helps that we perform the same job, albeit on different projects, so he understands exactly what problems I have to go through at work. Although sometimes this punchbag tends to swing back and hit me right in the face. Not physically, of course.
I miss the conversations we have over dinner or in the car, even if it's just to fret over Nuaim's latest hair-raising antics (he does a mean imitation of a Hindi movie rolling-on-the-ground scene nowadays) or coo over Nu'man's dimples. There are also other things that you just want to talk about in person in private, not via YM in an office environment. And definitely not in a blog with everyone else reading in.
15th August is such a long way away...
I had been caught up in the excitement of a new baby and coming back to work to notice Hubby's absence for the last month. I've realised that, pre-Sudan job, the longest I've ever been away from him is 3 weeks. And even then we were still in the same time zone, so my leisure time did not clash with his working hours, or vice versa. Right now, several thousand km and 5 hours apart, the distance has finally got to me. It sucks when he calls and our conversation is interrupted by requests to check whether the hydrotest for System 32 has been completed, or whether the Material Requisition for Anti-Surge Valves will be ready in time for the next shutdown. The result of which both the quality of my conversation and my work deteriorates.
One of my colleagues recently had to take a week off because the workload really got to him and stressed him out. He's back at work, looking a bit pale but happier now that we've acknowledged the problem. At least, I hope he's happier because I certainly didn't realised he was that depressed. Maybe I was just too absorbed in my own little world to notice.
It did get me thinking though, whether this is all really worth the effort. Some days I feel all charged up, ready to take on the world and everything life has to throw at me. These are my super-efficient, highly productive moments. Sadly those moments are scarce and far between nowadays. Where it once took me just 3 weeks to produce 4 technical specifications and 13 datasheets, I now take almost a month to produce only 1 document. It doesn't help that the PM is targetting for December to complete the engineering phase!
At times like these I really need my emotional punchbag. It helps that we perform the same job, albeit on different projects, so he understands exactly what problems I have to go through at work. Although sometimes this punchbag tends to swing back and hit me right in the face. Not physically, of course.
I miss the conversations we have over dinner or in the car, even if it's just to fret over Nuaim's latest hair-raising antics (he does a mean imitation of a Hindi movie rolling-on-the-ground scene nowadays) or coo over Nu'man's dimples. There are also other things that you just want to talk about in person in private, not via YM in an office environment. And definitely not in a blog with everyone else reading in.
15th August is such a long way away...
Want to know the real me?
I'm not a nice person. In fact, I'm downright rude and cruel and ungrateful most of the time. Except that all this happens in my head, and behind a fake smile pasted on my face.
Just so you know, when I'm just smiling at you saying nothing, the inner me is venting forth such venom you wouldn't survive if I said it out loud.
Why do I hold it back, bite my tongue?
Because I don't want to rock the boat. Because it's not worth all the fuss and agony. Because it's just rude. Unbecoming of me to say such things. And it'll hurt you. That's the intent of those words.
Sometimes I hold it back so much I become a pushover. Adoi, sakitnya jatuh.
Just so you know, when I'm just smiling at you saying nothing, the inner me is venting forth such venom you wouldn't survive if I said it out loud.
Why do I hold it back, bite my tongue?
Because I don't want to rock the boat. Because it's not worth all the fuss and agony. Because it's just rude. Unbecoming of me to say such things. And it'll hurt you. That's the intent of those words.
Sometimes I hold it back so much I become a pushover. Adoi, sakitnya jatuh.
