Tok Bik lived in a big house in Subang Jaya with her son and daughter. Every so often, she would get visits from her other children and their brood. Sometimes they would stay over the weekend, so the house would be filled with the sounds of laughter and conversation.
Tok Bik had eight children from two husbands. She was divorced from her first husband after having two children, and became another man’s second wife. Tok Bik took the boy to stay with her, while the daughter was cared for by the father’s family. Tok Bik never met her daughter until after the girl was married at the age of 21.
As they say, history repeats itself. Tok Bik’s eldest son also married twice. His first wife was pregnant with his firstborn, a boy, when he left her for another woman. His second wife bore him four daughters, the eldest nine months younger than her brother. The boy and his father would not meet until 30 years later.
Tok Bik was only recently united with her grandson, but she welcomed him with open arms. She had always known about him, and had been asking her son to seek him out, but the timing was never right. It was not until he was about to leave for Haj earlier this year that he drew up enough courage to set up a meeting.
Last Saturday on the 25th of Ramadhan, around the time for Asar prayers, Tok Bik complained of a headache. She went upstairs to shower and lie down. Before doing so, Tok Bik asked her maid to take out the long kain batik lepas from the cupboard and place it nearby her bed so that 'nanti senang orang nak cari (it’ll be easier for people to find later).'
Tok Bik would usually come down to prepare for iftar at 6.00 p.m. When she didn’t make an appearance, her maid went to her room to wake her up. She saw Tok Bik sleeping in bed, but something looked amiss. Upon closer inspection she started screaming, which drew the attention of Tok Bik’s daughter.
When the doctor arrived, he confirmed what they had all suspected. Tok Bik had passed away in her sleep.
I heard the news just before breaking fast. It was a shock because Tok Bik seemed very healthy when I last met her just over a week ago. As my brother-in-law was having iftar with us that evening, we decided to go visit after Maghrib prayers. We reached Subang Jaya at about 8.30 p.m.
When I entered the room, there were several relatives sitting around reciting the Yasin. Some of them had tears in their eyes. Tok Bik was laid out on the bed, her face covered with gauze. When the gauze was lifted for me to look at her face, I could see she had passed away peacefully.
Tok Bik looked so serene, almost like she was sleeping. Her skin seemed so clear like a teenager’s. The apple of her cheeks even had a healthy shine to it. I was amazed that death could look so beautiful.
I settled down in a corner of the room to read the Yasin. Suddenly I heard someone crying loudly at the door. One of Tok Bik’s daughters had just arrived, clearly distraught. She was at KLIA, about to board a flight to Sarawak with her family when she found out what had happened. Her brothers and sisters quickly crowded around her and tried to put her back on her feet. I felt a bit confused, not knowing how to react to the situation, so I just dumbly sat back down and tried to read. Although I was feeling somewhat emotionally detached from it all earlier, I tend to get really affected when I see other people crying. I tried really hard not to let the tears flow. I succeeded, but got a headache due to the terrible effort.
Just as I was wrapping up my recitation, the men decided to move Tok Bik’s body downstairs. She was covered up in the kain batik lepas, her son holding up her head while her grandsons took the weight of her body. Her newly acquainted grandson was one of them, just as he was one of those to help lower her body into the grave the next morning.
It rained at the cemetery. It always does when good people pass away.
Rest in peace, Tok Bik. May Allah count your soul among the blessed.
Monday, 31 October 2005
It's a Goat eat goat world
The last few days at work have been quite hectic. The meeting with the compressor manufacturer lasted the whole of Thursday, and I had to get the minutes out by next day noon. I was half an hour late for the meeting - there was a long job queue at the only available printer/photocopier in the office - but since I was designated to take minutes, they all waited for me before they started. The meeting started off on quite a fiery note - one of the managers from the Owner company had a few strong opinions about the subject, which he decided to voice out in terms I thought were stronger than politely necessary, but fortunately enough the little Italian guy doing the presentation was mild-mannered enough to just take it in his stride (someone next to me is drinking coffee right now - the aroma is killing me. Aaarghh!).
I had my buka puasa at Suria KLCC that evening, as I was working late. I had a hankering for mee mamak so I went to the Level 4 Food Court but was quite disappointed with the taste. I suppose for only Rm5.50 I shouldn't be expecting much. The next night, there was a department get-together at Restoran Seri Melayu, courtesy of all the higher-paying colleagues (me not included). The carpark was packed by the time we got there with 10 minutes to spare before Maghrib. There was a large selection of food, but because it was all spread out over various sections of the restaurant - and it's a HUGE restaurant - it kind of spoiled my appetite. Somehow the largely Malaysian/Malay menu of rendang and curries and laksa did not quite tickle my tastebuds. The only thing I really enjoyed was the fresh garden salad and ulam. As a friend once commented on my eating habits, I eat greens like a goat.
Well, that night I must've been a cannibal since I indulged in roast lamb with mint sauce. Yummmy.
I had my buka puasa at Suria KLCC that evening, as I was working late. I had a hankering for mee mamak so I went to the Level 4 Food Court but was quite disappointed with the taste. I suppose for only Rm5.50 I shouldn't be expecting much. The next night, there was a department get-together at Restoran Seri Melayu, courtesy of all the higher-paying colleagues (me not included). The carpark was packed by the time we got there with 10 minutes to spare before Maghrib. There was a large selection of food, but because it was all spread out over various sections of the restaurant - and it's a HUGE restaurant - it kind of spoiled my appetite. Somehow the largely Malaysian/Malay menu of rendang and curries and laksa did not quite tickle my tastebuds. The only thing I really enjoyed was the fresh garden salad and ulam. As a friend once commented on my eating habits, I eat greens like a goat.
Well, that night I must've been a cannibal since I indulged in roast lamb with mint sauce. Yummmy.
Wednesday, 26 October 2005
Grumble grumble
I need a break from work. Maybe it's just not being able to have coffee that's really affecting my productivity, or it's this immediate internet access and hence gateway to Jamie Oliver's website that keeps distracting me from finishing this Instrument Selection Criteria, among other things. Or just that feeling of not really knowing what I'm doing. Whatever it is, I'm reminded of the time in Form Five when I had to walk in a boggy, muddy paya during a Student Leadership Course - the need to finish the journey really quickly but there's so much holding me down. Very high viscosity fluid there, now which flowmeter would be suitable?
Mama is coming down from Alor Setar tomorrow to spend some time with Nuaim. I wish I could stay home and play with him too. Instead I have to attend a meeting with some Italian compressor manufacturer and I don't even have a clue what the meeting is going to be about. The reason I'm roped in is because my Lead Engineer wants me to be on top of things, as his deputy for when he's 'off to the dentist' or some such other excuse for disappearing from work (I think he actually goes off to meet some 'lady friend' his wife doesn't know). I really hate deputising for other people - it's not like I don't have enough to do already. Okay, I admit I'm not all that busy right now, but I definitely do not want to get bogged down by things that are really beyond my understanding.
There goes whatever pahala puasa I've achieved for today. And I was salivating over Jamie Oliver's recipes again.
Mama is coming down from Alor Setar tomorrow to spend some time with Nuaim. I wish I could stay home and play with him too. Instead I have to attend a meeting with some Italian compressor manufacturer and I don't even have a clue what the meeting is going to be about. The reason I'm roped in is because my Lead Engineer wants me to be on top of things, as his deputy for when he's 'off to the dentist' or some such other excuse for disappearing from work (I think he actually goes off to meet some 'lady friend' his wife doesn't know). I really hate deputising for other people - it's not like I don't have enough to do already. Okay, I admit I'm not all that busy right now, but I definitely do not want to get bogged down by things that are really beyond my understanding.
There goes whatever pahala puasa I've achieved for today. And I was salivating over Jamie Oliver's recipes again.
Tuesday, 25 October 2005
Lailatul Qadr khairun min Alfi Shahr
I can barely keep my eyes open. I arrived at the office at 7.40 a.m. today, but spent the first 40 minutes asleep in the Surau. My lead engineer rang me up on my mobile to check where I was just as I was walking back to my desk.
Yesterday's PRA session lasted the whole day, right up to just before iftar. And we were only halfway through. Luckily, the next session is postponed till after raya, and there were even suggestions that it will take place on a weekend, away from office premises. maybe as some kind of team-building session, no?
Last night, being the night of 21 Ramadhan, also signalled the beginning of the quest for Lailatul Qadr, the Night of Power. The Quran states that this night is better than a thousand months, meaning that whosoever performs prayers on this night will be rewarded as if he has performed it for a thousand months. It is not disclosed when exactly is the Night in question, only that it falls on one of the odd-numbered nights of the last ten days of Ramadhan. And as Islam interpretes night as beginning on Maghrib preceding the day, hence last night was the 21st, while today is the 21st day of fasting. Muslims generally are encouraged to spend the nights performing prayers and I'tikaf (seclusion) in mosques.
That, however, is not the reason I am so heavy-lidded this morning. Yes, I did spend my wee hours awake, but not for prayers. Instead, Nuaim decided to make 2.30 a.m. his new playtime. He woke up suddenly, asking for my mum's maid, Cik Dah. Now, whenever Nuaim wants his bottle of milk, he will only request it from her. So when he started going 'Daahh!' I thought that milk was what he wanted. I didn't want to have to wake her up in the middle of the night, so decided to make it myself.
I carried Nuaim to the kitchen and asked him again whether he wanted his 'Nenen', to which he didn't respond. So I thought maybe he just had a nightmare or something. We went back to bed, but again he started asking for Cik Dah. This time I made him his bottle, and he happily drank it all up. When he seemed to have settled down to sleep again, I changed his nappie (it's so difficult to do it when he's up and awake because he doesn't like wearing them), then went to the loo myself.
And what should greet me when I walk out of the bathroom? The sight of Nuaim sitting up in bed, insisting to be let out of the room. I carried him for a bit, sang a lullaby, but he simply refused to be lulled by it. I could see that at least someone was still awake upstairs, so ascended the staircase to where my brother, the Eternal Nocturnal, was playing a video game and my sister was chatting online (they have weird playtimes too, my siblings). Nuaim, wide-eyed by now, seemed interested in the video game for about 10 minutes, then decided to make a foray into my sleeping sister's room, presumably in search of her stuffed koala (the toy, not taxidermy variety) to which he has an attachment. Having found the koala, he seemed pleased, but no sooner than a minute later he was going 'Tuin' (downstairs). I thought I'd cracked it by now - that he wanted his teddy bear to sleep with, but he headed for the front door instead. By this time it was 4.00 a.m. and Cik Dah was in the kitchen to prepare sahur, so thankfully for me she was able to take him off my hands while I tried to catch a few winks.
Hubby was up to do his prayers, but I couldn't stay on my feet anymore. My slumber was quite fitful though, so by the time he woke me up again for sahur an hour later I was really cranky. Nuaim was still at it, insisting on going outside where it was dark and raining, so I let Hubby deal with him instead. Fortunately he must have felt tired himself, because he was quite willing to be put to bed after that.
I just hope there's no repeat performance tonight.
Yesterday's PRA session lasted the whole day, right up to just before iftar. And we were only halfway through. Luckily, the next session is postponed till after raya, and there were even suggestions that it will take place on a weekend, away from office premises. maybe as some kind of team-building session, no?
Last night, being the night of 21 Ramadhan, also signalled the beginning of the quest for Lailatul Qadr, the Night of Power. The Quran states that this night is better than a thousand months, meaning that whosoever performs prayers on this night will be rewarded as if he has performed it for a thousand months. It is not disclosed when exactly is the Night in question, only that it falls on one of the odd-numbered nights of the last ten days of Ramadhan. And as Islam interpretes night as beginning on Maghrib preceding the day, hence last night was the 21st, while today is the 21st day of fasting. Muslims generally are encouraged to spend the nights performing prayers and I'tikaf (seclusion) in mosques.
That, however, is not the reason I am so heavy-lidded this morning. Yes, I did spend my wee hours awake, but not for prayers. Instead, Nuaim decided to make 2.30 a.m. his new playtime. He woke up suddenly, asking for my mum's maid, Cik Dah. Now, whenever Nuaim wants his bottle of milk, he will only request it from her. So when he started going 'Daahh!' I thought that milk was what he wanted. I didn't want to have to wake her up in the middle of the night, so decided to make it myself.
I carried Nuaim to the kitchen and asked him again whether he wanted his 'Nenen', to which he didn't respond. So I thought maybe he just had a nightmare or something. We went back to bed, but again he started asking for Cik Dah. This time I made him his bottle, and he happily drank it all up. When he seemed to have settled down to sleep again, I changed his nappie (it's so difficult to do it when he's up and awake because he doesn't like wearing them), then went to the loo myself.
And what should greet me when I walk out of the bathroom? The sight of Nuaim sitting up in bed, insisting to be let out of the room. I carried him for a bit, sang a lullaby, but he simply refused to be lulled by it. I could see that at least someone was still awake upstairs, so ascended the staircase to where my brother, the Eternal Nocturnal, was playing a video game and my sister was chatting online (they have weird playtimes too, my siblings). Nuaim, wide-eyed by now, seemed interested in the video game for about 10 minutes, then decided to make a foray into my sleeping sister's room, presumably in search of her stuffed koala (the toy, not taxidermy variety) to which he has an attachment. Having found the koala, he seemed pleased, but no sooner than a minute later he was going 'Tuin' (downstairs). I thought I'd cracked it by now - that he wanted his teddy bear to sleep with, but he headed for the front door instead. By this time it was 4.00 a.m. and Cik Dah was in the kitchen to prepare sahur, so thankfully for me she was able to take him off my hands while I tried to catch a few winks.
Hubby was up to do his prayers, but I couldn't stay on my feet anymore. My slumber was quite fitful though, so by the time he woke me up again for sahur an hour later I was really cranky. Nuaim was still at it, insisting on going outside where it was dark and raining, so I let Hubby deal with him instead. Fortunately he must have felt tired himself, because he was quite willing to be put to bed after that.
I just hope there's no repeat performance tonight.
Sunday, 23 October 2005
Things I need for Raya
Raya is about 12 days away. People are busy getting kuih, new clothes and bus tickets for balik kampung. I've never bought kuih raya before, but a couple of weeks ago I sampled some really good pineapple tarts that were sold by our receptionist so I placed an order for one pack. I might decide to get a couple more for Mak and Mama.
Nuaim has his new baju melayu ready. Like last year, Mak bought some voile material and Mama had them tailored back in Alor Setar. So spoilt la my son the first cucu ni. The five baju that were too loose last year now fit him just nice, so he has about SEVEN to wear this year. We've also bought him a songkok that I'm sure he'll keep pulling off during photoshoots. Size 19 1/4 - big head my son has. I decided not to get him a new kain sampin - the last one we bought is still serviceable.
But what about Nuaim's Ummi? Since a couple of years back, I haven't given much thought to raya preparations. If it wasn't for Mak and Mama's generosity in buying me new clothes, I'd still be wearing the same thing I did from six or seven years' back. But this year, I have a list:
Nuaim has his new baju melayu ready. Like last year, Mak bought some voile material and Mama had them tailored back in Alor Setar. So spoilt la my son the first cucu ni. The five baju that were too loose last year now fit him just nice, so he has about SEVEN to wear this year. We've also bought him a songkok that I'm sure he'll keep pulling off during photoshoots. Size 19 1/4 - big head my son has. I decided not to get him a new kain sampin - the last one we bought is still serviceable.
But what about Nuaim's Ummi? Since a couple of years back, I haven't given much thought to raya preparations. If it wasn't for Mak and Mama's generosity in buying me new clothes, I'd still be wearing the same thing I did from six or seven years' back. But this year, I have a list:
- New glasses. My only remaining pair is in danger of falling to pieces after Nuaim twisted the handle a couple of days back. Miraculously it didn't break - just. The new ones will be ready tomorrow. Thick reddish frames this time. Hubby liked the schoolgirl look - 'Nampak muda remaja sikit.'
- New shoes/sandals. I've been walking in the same pair of high-heeled green Clarks sandals for weeks already. They look cool (kinda retro) but lately they've proven to be precarious, especially with Nuaim insisting on 'Dum' all the time. Note to self - Don't get Clarks Springers. They're comfortable and all, but really don't last that well in our humid and wet environs. Bata is a safer (and cheaper) bet. And not just for raya, but to last the whole pregnancy and beyond.
- A baju raya. I've decided to spoil myself by buying something from ModernMum. There's a nice kebaya-looking top which I think might just do the trick. Plus can collect Bonuslink points. I'm a loyalty card junkie so shoot me.
- New seat covers for dining room. Next time I shouldn't get chairs with plain cream-coloured upholstery - cepat kotorlah. Saw nice blue stripey thingy in IKEA for RM40 each. If I need 6 that'll be RM240! Berbaloi ka, or cheaper to buy cloth and make my own?
Friday, 21 October 2005
Buka Puasa at Kelantan Delights
Some friends from the office decided to have a 'buka puasa' gathering. These are the same people I usually have lunch with, but for the iftar we decided husbands should join in.
Hubby was reluctant at first - after all, these friends are actually a couple (or more?) of years younger than me, and he felt like he'd stick out like the paternal figure. And he definitely didn't want to be stuck with a bunch of giggly gossipy women and their husbands whom he doesn't know too well at all. But I coaxed and cajoled and promised to pay for his dinner, and finally he relented.
So Thuisday night, after breaking my fast with a Mentos and performing my Maghrib prayers, we met up with the rest of the gang at Kelantan Delights on level 4 of Suria KLCC. I guess for RM39++ the spread was quite good. One wonders what's on display at the RM100++ hotel buffets around KL. Here's a roundup on the menu (look away now if you're fasting).
There were cute little buah tanjung (much lighter yellow than the ones I bought), jala mas and lompat tikam - and that was about all that was distinctly Kelantanese about the food (minus the budu). A few other assortments of local kuih were available. Appetisers included cucur udang, popiah and samosa, all of which were quite tasty. The menu was strictly Malay, with white rice, fried rice and a variety of dishes. I skipped the ayam masak merah and fried chicken (too common), went for the jenahak (red snapper?) curry, sotong sambal petai, paru goreng cili (Ubisetela eat your heart out), pari masak lemak, daging bakar and mixed veggies (a pregnant lady needs her greens). The plates were so small, I had to get a refill to properly satiate my appetite.
We were entertained by my friends' attempts to use the Bluetooth function on their handphones. Being a boring Nokia 3315 user (monophonic, monocolour and all that), I only played the part of bemused observer, as the three of them were trying to figure out what 'passkey' meant and found out that their phones didn't have the application to run the transferred file in the end.
On a side note, apparently the buffet spread at Awana Genting is pretty good value for RM45 nett. Got sushi and all that.
Hubby was reluctant at first - after all, these friends are actually a couple (or more?) of years younger than me, and he felt like he'd stick out like the paternal figure. And he definitely didn't want to be stuck with a bunch of giggly gossipy women and their husbands whom he doesn't know too well at all. But I coaxed and cajoled and promised to pay for his dinner, and finally he relented.
So Thuisday night, after breaking my fast with a Mentos and performing my Maghrib prayers, we met up with the rest of the gang at Kelantan Delights on level 4 of Suria KLCC. I guess for RM39++ the spread was quite good. One wonders what's on display at the RM100++ hotel buffets around KL. Here's a roundup on the menu (look away now if you're fasting).
There were cute little buah tanjung (much lighter yellow than the ones I bought), jala mas and lompat tikam - and that was about all that was distinctly Kelantanese about the food (minus the budu). A few other assortments of local kuih were available. Appetisers included cucur udang, popiah and samosa, all of which were quite tasty. The menu was strictly Malay, with white rice, fried rice and a variety of dishes. I skipped the ayam masak merah and fried chicken (too common), went for the jenahak (red snapper?) curry, sotong sambal petai, paru goreng cili (Ubisetela eat your heart out), pari masak lemak, daging bakar and mixed veggies (a pregnant lady needs her greens). The plates were so small, I had to get a refill to properly satiate my appetite.
We were entertained by my friends' attempts to use the Bluetooth function on their handphones. Being a boring Nokia 3315 user (monophonic, monocolour and all that), I only played the part of bemused observer, as the three of them were trying to figure out what 'passkey' meant and found out that their phones didn't have the application to run the transferred file in the end.
On a side note, apparently the buffet spread at Awana Genting is pretty good value for RM45 nett. Got sushi and all that.
Thursday, 20 October 2005
PM's Wife Loses to Big C
The wife of Malaysia's fifth and current Prime Minister, Datin Seri Endon Mahmood passed away this morning, succumbing to breast cancer. Read more about it here.
I have never met her or seen her in person - there was one function I attended that she was supposed to officiate but couldn't make it due to some health problems. Could this have been the reason for her absence then? But I do share her passion for the traditional fabrics and fashion she had championed, despite my husband's annoyance that the kebaya nyonya is so Unislamic because it is 'jarang' and 'ketat'. Hey, he wasn't complaining when I wore it once before we got married. But I digress.
I understand how this would greatly affect Pak Lah. They have always appeared as such a loving couple, even in public, and I always find PDA between not-so-young couples endearing.
At the office, we've started speculating which ex-TV3 celebrity will become the next first lady. Personally I think that is not Pak Lah's style. His ministers or ministers' relatives (even the Sultan of Brunei) may indulge in picking up wives from the Nona runway, but for someone so laidback yet publicly so in love with his late wife? Naaah.
Al-Fatihah to Datin Seri Endon. May Allah bless her soul.
A result of all this is a rumour going round that next Monday has been declared a public holiday. A colleague called up a friend at Bernama news agency to confirm. I just checked The Star Online - it's not. That means I still have a PRA to attend (iftar included - yay!!).
I have never met her or seen her in person - there was one function I attended that she was supposed to officiate but couldn't make it due to some health problems. Could this have been the reason for her absence then? But I do share her passion for the traditional fabrics and fashion she had championed, despite my husband's annoyance that the kebaya nyonya is so Unislamic because it is 'jarang' and 'ketat'. Hey, he wasn't complaining when I wore it once before we got married. But I digress.
I understand how this would greatly affect Pak Lah. They have always appeared as such a loving couple, even in public, and I always find PDA between not-so-young couples endearing.
At the office, we've started speculating which ex-TV3 celebrity will become the next first lady. Personally I think that is not Pak Lah's style. His ministers or ministers' relatives (even the Sultan of Brunei) may indulge in picking up wives from the Nona runway, but for someone so laidback yet publicly so in love with his late wife? Naaah.
Al-Fatihah to Datin Seri Endon. May Allah bless her soul.
A result of all this is a rumour going round that next Monday has been declared a public holiday. A colleague called up a friend at Bernama news agency to confirm. I just checked The Star Online - it's not. That means I still have a PRA to attend (iftar included - yay!!).
