When I first thought of buying a condo 5 years ago, it was because I always wanted to live the life of a single female professional in KL. I relished the idea of having a whole address all to myself, with my own private study, my own kitchen, my own TV and space to entertain friends and family. And no garden to worry about (too much work la). And since the condo I bought is barely ten minutes' drive from my mum's house, I could always quickly hop over for a family meal and leave again when things start getting too uncomfortable. In a way, it was supposed to be my escape portal from whatever family issues I don't want to get involved with.
Things didn't quite turn out the way I planned. I got married just before the construction was completed, so it made sense to make this 900+ sqft space our first marital abode. And it doesn't quite look the way I wanted, because who would expect that my husband's personal property amassed throughout his bachelorhood and the wedding gifts we received would fill up the whole house? And we still have some of the gifts left at our parents' in DU and Alor Setar, while my clothes are transferred to my siblings' wardrobes at mum's (some without my prior knowledge).
But it's okay. We could still build this into our little lovenest. Or so I thought.
The first four months or so after the wedding, hubby was outstation in Bintulu so we only met up every three weeks. Sometimes he would take leave and come home for a week, when we'd go shopping for furniture and display cabinets to house the 15 or so crystal vases we received as wedding gifts. And as most neighbours hadn't moved in yet, I would stay at my mum's place whenever he was out of town. So the condo wasn't quite lived in as much.
That pattern seems to have continued till now, and it's been two years already. The space still isn't quite as lived in as I'd like. That ambience (or lack of it) seems to be an aspect of the whole building, with its shoplots on the ground floor that barely seem to be generating any business, let alone make a roaring profit. And this despite having IKEA and The Curve just down the road. Or maybe it's because of having IKEA as a neighbour that's pulling the business away. But that's another story too.
My idea of a lived-in home would be to have traces of the inhabitant's personality stamped on it. This place doesn't. Apart from our some family photos on the sideboard, nothing much in the condo says it's my house. The walls are bare, and the only decor are the crystal vases that reflect more of the givers' personalities and status than mine. If it was up to me, I'd have frsh flowers, vibrant paintings and rows upon rows of bookshelves in the living room. Like in Impiana or House & Garden. But, despite having redeemed precious Maybankard points for a Black & Decker drill, Hubby is reluctant to put anything up on the walls as 'this is only temporary till we move to a proper house'. And I bet he's going to say the same thing when we move to a 22x70 link in Bangi (that's all we can afford right now) and he starts dreaming of a bungalow in Putrajaya.
Whatever it is, hurry back home sayang, because any house isn't a home without you.
Sunday, 3 July 2005
Saturday, 2 July 2005
Antara Anyir dan Jakarta...
... or to be more accurate, KL and Banda Acheh.
Hubby decided to play the good Samaritan and join Mercy as a non-medic volunteer. He took 2 weeks off work and left me in charge at the office (literally!). It was supposed to be a journey of discovery for him, away from schedule reviews, meetings, progress reports to ... a different set of meetings, progress reporting and scheduling.
As this was a Re-Construction mission, Mercy specifically wanted technical professionals to assist them. Hubby qualified on the basis of being an Engineer. But when they started asking him about drilling wells, they found out too late that he's not exactly the kind of engineer they had in mind, despite working for an Oil & Gas multinational. No matter, he could still be of some use to them somehow.
And so he has been. So much so that they've extended his two week stint for an additional seven days. And it has opened him up to so many enriching experiences.
One of our SMS exchanges went like this:
Hubby: I visited an orphanage today. One of the kids even looked like Nuaim (our son).
Me: Give them lots of hugs and kisses from me.
Hubby: I touched their heads. Now I know why it is sunat to usap kepala anak yatim. I bought them a football, they played like anak ayam.
Another time, he was in Lampulo, where they'd only received rice after 6 whole months of waiting.
On a lighter note, Siti's popularity in Indonesia is undisputed, as evidenced at a kenduri he attended. But Hubby is now an Indo-pop rock convert. I'm looking forward to our reunion with Gigi, Padi, Dewa and SO7 playing in the background.
Oh shoot, have to get the CD player fixed first.
Hubby decided to play the good Samaritan and join Mercy as a non-medic volunteer. He took 2 weeks off work and left me in charge at the office (literally!). It was supposed to be a journey of discovery for him, away from schedule reviews, meetings, progress reports to ... a different set of meetings, progress reporting and scheduling.
As this was a Re-Construction mission, Mercy specifically wanted technical professionals to assist them. Hubby qualified on the basis of being an Engineer. But when they started asking him about drilling wells, they found out too late that he's not exactly the kind of engineer they had in mind, despite working for an Oil & Gas multinational. No matter, he could still be of some use to them somehow.
And so he has been. So much so that they've extended his two week stint for an additional seven days. And it has opened him up to so many enriching experiences.
One of our SMS exchanges went like this:
Hubby: I visited an orphanage today. One of the kids even looked like Nuaim (our son).
Me: Give them lots of hugs and kisses from me.
Hubby: I touched their heads. Now I know why it is sunat to usap kepala anak yatim. I bought them a football, they played like anak ayam.
Another time, he was in Lampulo, where they'd only received rice after 6 whole months of waiting.
On a lighter note, Siti's popularity in Indonesia is undisputed, as evidenced at a kenduri he attended. But Hubby is now an Indo-pop rock convert. I'm looking forward to our reunion with Gigi, Padi, Dewa and SO7 playing in the background.
Oh shoot, have to get the CD player fixed first.
Sunday, 29 May 2005
There's no place like home
I am just so tired of all this.
Come this Thursday, I would have been working in this industry for almost 64 months. Out of that period, I have spent almost 30 months away from home on attachment to project sites around the country, mostly on the East Coast. In my first two years, I was away for a stretch of 14 months (although I still come home on weekends or long holidays).
By far, this current attachment is the shortest (I've been here since the last week of March) , but I think it's the one that's taking the biggest toll on me. Maybe because my circumstances have changed so much since the last time. All the other projects were during my single days, where I relished hanging out with equally single friends after a hard day's work. What was even more fun was all the extra income from my outstation allowance. Dian the Engineer was an icon of the modern successful woman in a man's world.
Nowadays, I come back too tired to spend good quality time with my family. My body aches, I am irritated, and I talk of nothing but work and all the associated problems that come with it. Having spent the whole day away from me, my son looks forward to me picking him up and showering him with kisses as I come in the door, but I quickly hurry away to wash off the dirt and grime collected from the construction site. I shut my ears to his forlorn wailing, close my eyes against the image of him straining away from the maid towards me with his arms outstretched. My husband takes the night bus from KL every week, despite his fear of their reckless speed, only to see me spend the weekends at the office or on site.
They deserve more than just Dian the Engineer. All Nuaim wants is Dian the Mother who coos with delight and pride when he tries to say 'FISH' and ends up with 'PIH'. All hubby wants is Dian the Wife who dolls herself up just for his sake and no one else's. All Mak wants is Dian the Daughter who is willing to spend a few hours over tea listening to her share her grievances that she keeps so well hidden from other people.
This weekend, at least for only 3 days, Dian the Engineer will step behind the curtains and let Dian the Wife-Mother-Daughter take centre stage.
Come this Thursday, I would have been working in this industry for almost 64 months. Out of that period, I have spent almost 30 months away from home on attachment to project sites around the country, mostly on the East Coast. In my first two years, I was away for a stretch of 14 months (although I still come home on weekends or long holidays).
By far, this current attachment is the shortest (I've been here since the last week of March) , but I think it's the one that's taking the biggest toll on me. Maybe because my circumstances have changed so much since the last time. All the other projects were during my single days, where I relished hanging out with equally single friends after a hard day's work. What was even more fun was all the extra income from my outstation allowance. Dian the Engineer was an icon of the modern successful woman in a man's world.
Nowadays, I come back too tired to spend good quality time with my family. My body aches, I am irritated, and I talk of nothing but work and all the associated problems that come with it. Having spent the whole day away from me, my son looks forward to me picking him up and showering him with kisses as I come in the door, but I quickly hurry away to wash off the dirt and grime collected from the construction site. I shut my ears to his forlorn wailing, close my eyes against the image of him straining away from the maid towards me with his arms outstretched. My husband takes the night bus from KL every week, despite his fear of their reckless speed, only to see me spend the weekends at the office or on site.
They deserve more than just Dian the Engineer. All Nuaim wants is Dian the Mother who coos with delight and pride when he tries to say 'FISH' and ends up with 'PIH'. All hubby wants is Dian the Wife who dolls herself up just for his sake and no one else's. All Mak wants is Dian the Daughter who is willing to spend a few hours over tea listening to her share her grievances that she keeps so well hidden from other people.
This weekend, at least for only 3 days, Dian the Engineer will step behind the curtains and let Dian the Wife-Mother-Daughter take centre stage.
Friday, 20 May 2005
If only there was anything clearer than crystal....
When I was in secondary school in Seremban, I used to take part in a few English debating competitions. One of the most over-used phrases in the debating fraternity then was "crystal clear". Today I was reminded of that phrase, and this entry's title was, apparently, another participant's smart spin on it. (No, I am not so original to have come up with that saying myself, nor did I hear it with my own ears as it was quoted to me by another friend).
Anyway, the reminder came as a result of a loss of water supply at the resort where I was staying.
I'd come back from work yesterday, and decided to spend a few minutes with my son while the maid did her prayers. After 15 minutes I began to wonder why it was taking her so long. After she was done and I passed Nuaim over to her so I could take a shower and pray, she told me that there was no water in the bathroom. The only available source was the kitchen tap, and even then the water was sometimes murky.
I called Maintenance. Apparently the whole resort is affected and there was no prior notice from JBA about the disruption, so there is no backup supply.
At about 9.30 pm, the water in my bathroom was flowing clear again, so I thought that was the end of it. But no....
When I woke up this morning the taps were dry again, including the kitchen sink. My husband and I quickly called Awana Kijal and booked two rooms for tonight, in case the problem remained unresolved throughout the day. As I was about to leave for breakfast, the water was back, though barely more than a trickle. We still haven't cancelled the booking at Awana though, just in case...
Oh, and did I tell you I have to come to work today (Friday is meant to be OFF day in Terengganu) because of some documents I'm expecting to arrive from Kuantan at 10.00 a.m., but it's now almost 11.30 and still no sign of anyone?
Anyway, the reminder came as a result of a loss of water supply at the resort where I was staying.
I'd come back from work yesterday, and decided to spend a few minutes with my son while the maid did her prayers. After 15 minutes I began to wonder why it was taking her so long. After she was done and I passed Nuaim over to her so I could take a shower and pray, she told me that there was no water in the bathroom. The only available source was the kitchen tap, and even then the water was sometimes murky.
I called Maintenance. Apparently the whole resort is affected and there was no prior notice from JBA about the disruption, so there is no backup supply.
At about 9.30 pm, the water in my bathroom was flowing clear again, so I thought that was the end of it. But no....
When I woke up this morning the taps were dry again, including the kitchen sink. My husband and I quickly called Awana Kijal and booked two rooms for tonight, in case the problem remained unresolved throughout the day. As I was about to leave for breakfast, the water was back, though barely more than a trickle. We still haven't cancelled the booking at Awana though, just in case...
Oh, and did I tell you I have to come to work today (Friday is meant to be OFF day in Terengganu) because of some documents I'm expecting to arrive from Kuantan at 10.00 a.m., but it's now almost 11.30 and still no sign of anyone?
Friday, 6 May 2005
Speed Devil vs Overconcerned Nanna
Drove home from Kerteh last night with Ros keeping me company. We yakked most of the way home, which helped to relieve the boredom of the KL-Kuantan highway. Mind you, I'd never dare take a night drive all by myself. Can hardly believe I managed to travel from Kuantan to Genting in less than 2 hours. I hope I don't get caught on speed camera doing 160 on a 110 km/h road. Feel damn tired though. To make up for it, I stayed in bed till 10.00 this morning with darling baby Nuaim.
He's so cute when he wakes up in the morning but pretends to still be asleep. His eyes are shut, but he can't hide the smile or giggle when I tickle him behind his ears or his chin. What a lot I missed in 4 days! He can stand and take 3-4 steps unaided, and is now more vocal though he still can't form any coherent words. And he talks back! Must be something he picked up from me...
But tomorrow, hubby is driving us back to Kerteh, hopefully only till the end of the month. Mak isn't too happy about it, since Nuaim won't be spending his time at her house during that time. She keeps telling me to leave him behind, that the trip would tire him out, that he'll be lonely without the usual brouhaha that is her neighbourhood to keep him company and he'll lose his appetite. She's even suggested that I move back into the family home when I finish this Kereh project. What? That's so going to cramp my style!
I can't help thinking how self-centered she is about all this, trying to make me feel guilty for wanting my son to be with me. I mean, Nuaim already spends most of his waking hours away from me, at least let me spend my nights with him. After all, I am his mother, and Mak has already had the opportunity to lavish maternal affection on 5 children, all her own.
I really want to be able to bring up my own children and care for my family my way, without people dictating what I should or should not do. I don't remember my grandparents giving continuous instructions to my parents on how to raise us 5 siblings. Or maybe my parents were just as obstinate as I feel (although I do give in most of the time) and by the time my long-term memory could register anything, my grandparents had already given up. Then again, they did live 10 hours away from us. All the more reason for me to start planning a move somewhere a bit farther than ten minutes away from Mak's house.
Guilt trip. I should order a lovely bouquet of flowers for Mak. After all, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, and Nuaim and I won't be here to celebrate it.
He's so cute when he wakes up in the morning but pretends to still be asleep. His eyes are shut, but he can't hide the smile or giggle when I tickle him behind his ears or his chin. What a lot I missed in 4 days! He can stand and take 3-4 steps unaided, and is now more vocal though he still can't form any coherent words. And he talks back! Must be something he picked up from me...
But tomorrow, hubby is driving us back to Kerteh, hopefully only till the end of the month. Mak isn't too happy about it, since Nuaim won't be spending his time at her house during that time. She keeps telling me to leave him behind, that the trip would tire him out, that he'll be lonely without the usual brouhaha that is her neighbourhood to keep him company and he'll lose his appetite. She's even suggested that I move back into the family home when I finish this Kereh project. What? That's so going to cramp my style!
I can't help thinking how self-centered she is about all this, trying to make me feel guilty for wanting my son to be with me. I mean, Nuaim already spends most of his waking hours away from me, at least let me spend my nights with him. After all, I am his mother, and Mak has already had the opportunity to lavish maternal affection on 5 children, all her own.
I really want to be able to bring up my own children and care for my family my way, without people dictating what I should or should not do. I don't remember my grandparents giving continuous instructions to my parents on how to raise us 5 siblings. Or maybe my parents were just as obstinate as I feel (although I do give in most of the time) and by the time my long-term memory could register anything, my grandparents had already given up. Then again, they did live 10 hours away from us. All the more reason for me to start planning a move somewhere a bit farther than ten minutes away from Mak's house.
Guilt trip. I should order a lovely bouquet of flowers for Mak. After all, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, and Nuaim and I won't be here to celebrate it.
Monday, 2 May 2005
Temptations
Look at this beauty. Whatever money I save from not going to the KL International Book Fair, I'm gonna spend it on this. Just as soon as I fill in all my claim forms, and they're all processed. Now, if only I can find all my receipts and boarding passes...
It's just another day...
I should've just stayed at home another day.
I was back in KL last week to attend a 5-day Control Valve Engineering and Maintenance course conducted by one of the vendors in PJ. The venue was only 10 minutes away from my mum's house, which was very convenient as it meant I had at least 1 and a half hours available in the morning to lounge about doing nothing. I spent the first few mornings catching up on the news, and the next few days catching up on my sleep. It felt so good to wake up at 8.00 a.m. and still make it in time for work. Nuaim seems to have caught the habit of sleeping in as well - he's usually up by 6.30 a.m. at the latest.
Anyway, the course finished on Friday, and yours truly got Top Student honours by virtue of getting the highest score of the combined 4 quizzes we had. Although I have to admit if they took into account the Hands-On training, I wouldn't be anywhere near the Top 5! But as it is, everyone else in the course was from Operations or Maintenance, and I was the only one from a Design Consultant background, so it's only fair that I should know more (at least theoretically) than the rest of the class. For being clever, I got me a mug and a 256MB thumb drive (I keep getting these lately, I now have a combined 672MB of thumb drive space at my fingertips - and all of them free!). This is much better than what my husband received for being Top Student in the same course two years ago - only a denim shirt that everyone got this time round.
I had planned to drive back up to Kerteh with hubby, baby and maid yesterday, but since Nuaim's eye isn't 100% okay yet and he still has to go see the doctor again on Friday, I decided I'll make this trip alone and come back for my family then. The KL International book fair was tempting (last day today at PWTC) but we didn't make it. As it is, I drove off at 7.00 this morning (half an hour later than planned) and arrived just two minutes after my ETA of 11.00 a.m. My left hand is shaking right now - could it be due to the driving, the coffee or an undiagnosed condition of Parkinson's?
It seems however, that more than 2/3 of the office decided to take the day off (KL people get today off in lieu of Labour Day falling on Sunday yesterday). All I've done today is issue a Field Instruction, and I've been trying to compose another one but the drawing I want to mark up for that FI isn't exactly available right now. So I've spent the last couple of hours surfing the Internet, ogling the latest 3G mobile phones - the Motorola A1000 is so worth salivating over, I wonder if it's worth 1 month's outstation allowance?
I've also tried logging into Maxis' online personal account, but after my first time login the system kept redirecting me to the login page. So I called up Customer Service. Turns out that it takes 2 hours before the online account is activated. If only they said that on the webpage, I told them so.
I know I should be doing some other work as well, but I just don't have all the information available with me, and no one who should have the information is available in the office either. So I'm just doing this to kill the next 30 minutes. I'm tempted to just leave and check in at the resort right now, because I really need to express my milk (my left mammary is starting to kill me!) And I so do not feel like going to site right now. We can leave that one for tomorrow, eh?
I was back in KL last week to attend a 5-day Control Valve Engineering and Maintenance course conducted by one of the vendors in PJ. The venue was only 10 minutes away from my mum's house, which was very convenient as it meant I had at least 1 and a half hours available in the morning to lounge about doing nothing. I spent the first few mornings catching up on the news, and the next few days catching up on my sleep. It felt so good to wake up at 8.00 a.m. and still make it in time for work. Nuaim seems to have caught the habit of sleeping in as well - he's usually up by 6.30 a.m. at the latest.
Anyway, the course finished on Friday, and yours truly got Top Student honours by virtue of getting the highest score of the combined 4 quizzes we had. Although I have to admit if they took into account the Hands-On training, I wouldn't be anywhere near the Top 5! But as it is, everyone else in the course was from Operations or Maintenance, and I was the only one from a Design Consultant background, so it's only fair that I should know more (at least theoretically) than the rest of the class. For being clever, I got me a mug and a 256MB thumb drive (I keep getting these lately, I now have a combined 672MB of thumb drive space at my fingertips - and all of them free!). This is much better than what my husband received for being Top Student in the same course two years ago - only a denim shirt that everyone got this time round.
I had planned to drive back up to Kerteh with hubby, baby and maid yesterday, but since Nuaim's eye isn't 100% okay yet and he still has to go see the doctor again on Friday, I decided I'll make this trip alone and come back for my family then. The KL International book fair was tempting (last day today at PWTC) but we didn't make it. As it is, I drove off at 7.00 this morning (half an hour later than planned) and arrived just two minutes after my ETA of 11.00 a.m. My left hand is shaking right now - could it be due to the driving, the coffee or an undiagnosed condition of Parkinson's?
It seems however, that more than 2/3 of the office decided to take the day off (KL people get today off in lieu of Labour Day falling on Sunday yesterday). All I've done today is issue a Field Instruction, and I've been trying to compose another one but the drawing I want to mark up for that FI isn't exactly available right now. So I've spent the last couple of hours surfing the Internet, ogling the latest 3G mobile phones - the Motorola A1000 is so worth salivating over, I wonder if it's worth 1 month's outstation allowance?
I've also tried logging into Maxis' online personal account, but after my first time login the system kept redirecting me to the login page. So I called up Customer Service. Turns out that it takes 2 hours before the online account is activated. If only they said that on the webpage, I told them so.
I know I should be doing some other work as well, but I just don't have all the information available with me, and no one who should have the information is available in the office either. So I'm just doing this to kill the next 30 minutes. I'm tempted to just leave and check in at the resort right now, because I really need to express my milk (my left mammary is starting to kill me!) And I so do not feel like going to site right now. We can leave that one for tomorrow, eh?
