Selamba Party

Throughout the month of Ramadhan, so far, I've had the privilege of being chauffeured to and from the office. In the morning, normally Mak would send me to Dayabumi before attending her tadarus sessions or religious classes. My brother the Eternal Nocturnal would pick me up after work, sometimes with Nuaim in tow.

Last Friday, as usual brother dear met me in front of the Dayabumi entrance. I had my laptop with me, and a Strawberry Chocolate Kek Lapis that I intended to sample this weekend (you know, just in case I can't make it till Raya), but I put everything at my feet instead of the backseat as we had to go pick up my youngest sister from the UIA matriculation campus in PJ.

Unlike the previous trips I made to the campus, the security guard insisted that my brother pick up an entry pass before letting him drive in. When sis finally made her appearance, she announced that she wasn't going home that day as she had a test the next morning, but could we please drop her and her friends off in SS14 for a buka puasa meal. As Eternal Nocturnal was planning to detour in the same direction, we said okay. We spent another 15 minutes waiting for her friend to turn up, and picked up another one on the way out.

At the guard house, as my brother was returning the entry pass, the security guard remarked that we spent a long time in campus premises and proceeded to interrogate my brother. He duly informed that students who were not spending the night away from campus had to return to the grounds by 7 pm. That would put a damper on my sister's buka puasa plans, wouldn't it? I overheard the three of them hatching up some half-baked plan of sneaking in via the mosque after prayers to elude the security guard, so left it at that. Besides, they're 18, practically adults, so they should be able to take care of themselves, right?

So I was a bit more than surprised when my sister SMSed Mak, just before she left for terawih prayers, to say that she and her friends would be sleeping over. From what I managed to recall of their conversation in the car, the group consisted of two girls (my sister included) and three boys. The SMS didn't exactly specify how many (and also which of them) would be coming over, only my sister's assurance that 'they are nice people.'

At 10, my sister arrived with her friends in tow - one girl and FIVE boys. I sat there, trying to figure out the logistics of the situation. Where exactly are we going to put up the boys, seeing as we had no guest room available? They assured us they'd be comfortable enough in the living room. My next question was what if they need to use the bathroom, as the house was built in such a way that you could only access a bathroom via a bedroom, which, of course, were all occupied. Fortunately, when Mak finally arrived home from the mosque she took it all in her stride, and arranged for them to use the toilet attached to the maid's room. The maid didn't seem to mind. As she said to Mak, "Alah, budak-budak saja, Ibu. (Not to worry, they're only kids)."

Well, obviously they didn't get up to anything 'unbecoming', but I was just surprised that everyone else (except Ain and me) didn't feel awkward about the whole situation. I mean, at that age, aren't you supposed to be all raging hormones and feeling rebellious? Or does it only happen to those who've been released into the big bad world after being cooped up in single-sex boarding schools for five years? Well, THIS bunch certainly look tame and 'budak-budak' compared to our lot 13 years ago.

The Blind Beggar

Someone emailed me this story today. Although I've read several versions of it already in the past, it never fails to move me to tears.

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In the days of the prophet Muhammad S.A.W., there lived a blind Jewish beggar in the market of Madinah. Everyday he would tell those who cared to listen that Muhammad was a crazy man, a liar and a magician, and warned them against approaching the prophet for fear of being influenced by him.

Each morning, however, Muhammad would bring some food to the blind beggar and feed him without ever speaking a word to his critic. This happened without fail until Muhammad passed away.

One day, Muhammad's companion and father-in-law, Abu Bakar R.A. went to visit his daughter, Aishah R.A., who was Muhammad's widow. He asked her, "My daughter, are there any of my beloved (Muhammad's) habits that I have not yet performed?"

Aishah replied, "My father, you are a faithful follower who has done almost everything except one."

"What is that?"

"Every morning Muhammad would go to the market and take food to a blind Jewish beggar there."

So the next morning, Abu Bakar R.A. went to the market with some food. As he approached the beggar and started to feed him, the beggar scowled angrily and said, "Who are you?"

Abu Bakar replied, "I am the one who normally comes t0 visit you."

The blind man retorted, "No, you are not he. When he comes here, I do not have difficulty in handling and chewing the food. That man feeds me, but not until he has softened the food considerably does he bring it to my mouth."

At this, Abu Bakar could no longer hold back his tears and confessed to the blind man, "You are right, I am not that man. I am one of his companions. That noble person is no longer with us. He was Muhammad S.A.W."

The blind beggar, shocked to to the core, started to sob, "Is this true? All this while I have been insulting and spreading slanders against him, but he has never hurt me, instead he provides me with food every day. He is indeed pure and noble."

The beggar then repented and pronounced the Syahadah, witnessed by Abu Bakar. From that day forth he became a Muslim.

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How easy it is for us to get angry and retaliate at the slightest provocation! How many of us can truly say that we are as forgiving and generous as Rasulullah?

Nurin Jazlin - Negligence or Just Sick Criminals?

There've been so many opinions and newsbites about Nurin Jazlin's case in the papers and other blogs. Lately, of course, is the much-debated statements by our esteemed leaders that the parents can be charged for negligence. I only have this to say to Mr Minister:
There's a kidnapper/rapist/killer still out there on the loose, so till that guy is captured and brought to justice, can I charge the government or police for negligence too?
Haven't the parents already suffered more than enough? I'm a parent myself, so I know what the parents are going through. They're probably spending many sleepless nights blaming themselves for not being able to do more, wishing that somehow they'd be able to turn back time and stop her from going off on her own that fateful night. If it's negligence, losing their child is the ultimate punishment.
When I was in primary school, I used to walk to and back from school all on my own. The only thing I had to worry about then was a neighbour's dog barking at me from behind the gates. My mum used to tell stories of how she had to walk through overgrown thickets to get to school, and no one gave two hoots about it. It was safe then for kids to go off on their own, we see images of it on TV all the time in commercials or movies set in yesteryears. Having the times of their lives, exploring the great outdoors and taking risks. And if those kids grew up to become educated, law-abiding, well-mannered yet highly professional and motivated citizens of today, why should I raise my children differently?
But what's happened to the world today? Why is it not safe anymore? Why are child kidnappings and murders so rampant? Why is crime on the increase? Where did we go wrong? How did those criminals turn out the way they are? Are they just bad seeds, is it the environment that's turned them into what they are, what happened to affect them in such a way?

"Gajah bertarung lawan gajah, pelanduk mati di tengah-tengah."

Translation: Elephant wages war against elephant, deer dies in the
midst.

Meaning: When prominent persons fight, the commoner
would suffer.

In this case, when your superiors don't get along, the subordinate gets into a difficult situation. And what a situation it is.


Initially it was a case of 'The Right Person not getting the Right Job,' but that was resolved by the time I arrived on the scene. (BTW, the person in question isn't me but one of my bosses).

But somehow matters have not yet been laid to rest. It's an ongoing saga, one in which I am unwillingly drawn into, because one of them is someone I've shared quite a productive working and unofficial coaching relationship with for 7 years, and the other, although a slightly more recent acquaintance, has been officially appointed to provide technical guidance in my career. It's even more difficult when the former and I are currently doing some projects together, and he doesn't want the latter to know the details of what we're up to.

Personally, I don't have a problem with either of them, although I don't really know the latter that well, so I can't tell whether the accusations and conspiracy theories against him are true. So far I believe his comments about me have been fair, albeit not entirely glowing, but I admit I've still got a long way to go. As for the former, he's not entirely without faults, and sometimes I suspect that he'll champion something or someone, me included, knowing that some of the glory will reflect off him, that it's got more to do with personal ego rather than a 'fight for a just cause'.

Like one his previous proteges said to me (and that protege is now in quite a venerable position in his own right), it makes for a 'very unhealthy environment to work in.'

The irony of it all, is that these elephants used to get along quite well. Of course this was before the whole reorganisation thing ended up putting us all into the same department. Now they hardly even talk to each other, and even if they both come up with a similar idea, there's no way of getting them to cooperate as each believes he has the ear of the big boss, and each person wants to claim credit for it (at least that's the perception I get).
This deer is in for a very tough ride.

Spanish Dreams

I have always wanted to visit the region of Andalusia in Spain. My interest has been galvanised after watching an online video entitled 'When The Moors Ruled In Europe'. Besides being informative (whoever knew the Alhambra Palace was designed on the mathematical basis of geometrical ratios involving squares, diagonals and rectangles? Genius!), the images are seriously to-die-for (but not before seeing the place in person).

My target is to step foot there before I turn 40. Maybe as a 10th wedding anniversary celebration? (Hint, hint to a certain Malaysian Mohandis in Sudan). Here's why:

The Ladies' Tower, Alhambra Palace, Granada

Another photo of Alhambra Palace.

Sunset in Cordoba

Roman bridge in Cordoba. It'd be wonderful to stroll down the bridge in the Mediterranean spring sunset, wouldn't it?

Ramadhan 2007

Alhamdulillah, it's the third day of Ramadhan and so far I've managed to fast - despite not having rice for sahur. The first day I was okay until after iftar, which I had at Mak Long's house. Maybe it was the combination of the heat and the choice of clothing (black abaya) that made me a bit weary. Second day was good - although I momentarily forgot I was fasting and bit into a strawberry that a neighbour had presented to my son. Remembered just in time before I actually managed to swallow anything (is that fortunate or not? Hmmm...). And today, despite having to wait an extra hour for my kitchen cabinet installer to arrive at my 'under renovation' house in TTDI Jaya, I completed the fast.

This month is special, as always, but it's extra special this year, because my third child, my first girl (according to my doctor) is going to be born soon. Although my EDD is on Aidil Fitri itself, wich also happens to coincide with my sister's birthday, she might be born earlier. It's already wearisome for me to walk about in the house, let alone attend tarawih prayers at the mosque, but I've got so many things to accomplish before I can hang up my office tag, hang up my phone and say, "Okay, doc, you can wheel me into the labour room now."

I pray to Allah to give me the strength and sustenance to carry on, finish whatever I have to do, and go through a safe and trouble-free labour. Amin...

The Little Emperor

Someone wants pictures of Nuaim too. So here goes.

21 May 2006 - 10 days to Nuaim's 2nd birthday. Such brotherly love...

6 June 2006 - Performing solat on his very own sejadah.

9 Aug 2006 - Having a nice soak on a hot day.

18 Mar 2007 (again, wrong date on camera) - all grown up and dressed to kill. Auntie Verde mesti suka gambar ni, ala-ala Jejaka Idaman Malaya gitu....

25 Aug 2007 - At his Uncle Azzam's wedding.

Counting Days

Alhmadulillah, Hubby got his early RnR approved.

So he'll be home, InsyaAllah by 7 October, in time to spend the last week of Ramadhan with his family, able to celebrate Hari Raya and witness the birth of his third child.

I do hope this baby will wait long enough for her Bapak to come home before making an appearance. In all likelihood it's gonna be another early one, and this time without the help of induced labour!

This family's growing again...

Nu'man's Progress

Muhammad Nu'man at just over two months old, June 2006.

After I came back from Haj, 21 Feb 2007 (camera's date was off by 1 month, don't know why).

Nu'man on his 1st birthday, riding his new birthday toy, 6 Apr 2007 (again, camera date off by a month).

A bit more recent, showing off is teeth, dated 070707.

At his Uncle Azzam's wedding, 25 Aug 2007, looking resplendent in baju Melayu and kain sampin (the clothes only lasted till noon).

Handsome little fella, isn't he?