I had one of those 'this can't be happening to me' days recently. One wrong thing after another.
The roads around KLCC were partially closed due to the ASEAN conference going on the whole week. Expecting massive jams, I decided to take the LRT to work. One day, as my brother was sending me off to the Bangsar station, I noticed that I'd left my handphone at home. No matter, I could always call him from the office to pick me up later. Then as I fumbled in my bag for my Touch n Go, I saw that my security pass was missing too. I made a mental note to pick up a temporary pass from the front desk when I reached my destination.
So there I was, striding purposefully towards the female security personnel, when I opened my purse to get my IC and - it wasn't there. Mentally I placed the blame on Nuaim, who is always emptying my purse of all my cards and cash. Panic started to mount when I couldn't find my driving license either. I quickly racked through my mind, trying to remember where I had placed these items as everything else was in place. Then it occurred to me that I had taken out my IC and driving card and placed them into a dinner purse when attending a kenduri last weekend. Kesian Nuaim tak pasal-pasal kena blame.
According to the big sign in front of me, I could only get the temporary pass in exchange for an IC, driving license or passport. As I had neither of these on my person, I smiled sheepishly at the female PB, wondering silently whether I could use one of my store loyalty cards instead. Was she going to turn me in for failing to carry my IC with me at all times? There's no jail sentence, is there?
The PB smiled back, trying very hard not to laugh. She asked if I could call a friend who would sign in on my behalf, but as I didn't have my phone with me, I couldn't reach anyone. The only person whose office number I remember happens to be my boss, and he was the last person I wanted to share this predicament with - though I have no qualms telling everyone else who bothers reading this blog what an airhead I can be.
I turned around, almost determined to take the LRT back home to collect all the forgotten stuff when thankfully enough I saw a colleague walking into the lobby. He obligingly 'lent' me his identity for the day.
That night I packed everything meticulously into my bag, and placed it right next to the bed. I'm not forgetting YOU anytime soon.
Saturday, 29 July 2006
Saturday, 22 July 2006
Mega Sale!!!
Tis the season to spend spend spend!
Today is the official launching of the nationwide Mega Sale, where supposedly everything in the country goes for a discounted price. Yeah right. I've fallen for it before, but it's not going to stop me from shopping. And it's happening right on my office doorstep.
Note to self: Suria KLCC 3-hour spendilicious sale on Monday 6 pm. I'm going to buy me these:
Today is the official launching of the nationwide Mega Sale, where supposedly everything in the country goes for a discounted price. Yeah right. I've fallen for it before, but it's not going to stop me from shopping. And it's happening right on my office doorstep.
Note to self: Suria KLCC 3-hour spendilicious sale on Monday 6 pm. I'm going to buy me these:
- A nice, proper watch for work. The one I'm wearing has become Nuaim's teething toy, despite him being beyond the teething phase by at least 18 months.
- Those lovely Hush Puppies shoes with the cute bows, even if they're not on sale. I can fully justify buying them, and I'll win the argument. I was a champion debater, you know.
Tuesday, 18 July 2006
Rindu Semakin Jauh
I think I'm going through the 'Mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena' phase. So far only the eating and sleeping (or lack thereof) symptoms of the 'missing-you' syndrome have manifested themselves, but based on good IPS engineering practices, 2oo3 failures should be enough to trip the system. And boy am I tripping! Not good for maintaining breastmilk supply either. My production rate has dropped by half.
I had been caught up in the excitement of a new baby and coming back to work to notice Hubby's absence for the last month. I've realised that, pre-Sudan job, the longest I've ever been away from him is 3 weeks. And even then we were still in the same time zone, so my leisure time did not clash with his working hours, or vice versa. Right now, several thousand km and 5 hours apart, the distance has finally got to me. It sucks when he calls and our conversation is interrupted by requests to check whether the hydrotest for System 32 has been completed, or whether the Material Requisition for Anti-Surge Valves will be ready in time for the next shutdown. The result of which both the quality of my conversation and my work deteriorates.
One of my colleagues recently had to take a week off because the workload really got to him and stressed him out. He's back at work, looking a bit pale but happier now that we've acknowledged the problem. At least, I hope he's happier because I certainly didn't realised he was that depressed. Maybe I was just too absorbed in my own little world to notice.
It did get me thinking though, whether this is all really worth the effort. Some days I feel all charged up, ready to take on the world and everything life has to throw at me. These are my super-efficient, highly productive moments. Sadly those moments are scarce and far between nowadays. Where it once took me just 3 weeks to produce 4 technical specifications and 13 datasheets, I now take almost a month to produce only 1 document. It doesn't help that the PM is targetting for December to complete the engineering phase!
At times like these I really need my emotional punchbag. It helps that we perform the same job, albeit on different projects, so he understands exactly what problems I have to go through at work. Although sometimes this punchbag tends to swing back and hit me right in the face. Not physically, of course.
I miss the conversations we have over dinner or in the car, even if it's just to fret over Nuaim's latest hair-raising antics (he does a mean imitation of a Hindi movie rolling-on-the-ground scene nowadays) or coo over Nu'man's dimples. There are also other things that you just want to talk about in person in private, not via YM in an office environment. And definitely not in a blog with everyone else reading in.
15th August is such a long way away...
I had been caught up in the excitement of a new baby and coming back to work to notice Hubby's absence for the last month. I've realised that, pre-Sudan job, the longest I've ever been away from him is 3 weeks. And even then we were still in the same time zone, so my leisure time did not clash with his working hours, or vice versa. Right now, several thousand km and 5 hours apart, the distance has finally got to me. It sucks when he calls and our conversation is interrupted by requests to check whether the hydrotest for System 32 has been completed, or whether the Material Requisition for Anti-Surge Valves will be ready in time for the next shutdown. The result of which both the quality of my conversation and my work deteriorates.
One of my colleagues recently had to take a week off because the workload really got to him and stressed him out. He's back at work, looking a bit pale but happier now that we've acknowledged the problem. At least, I hope he's happier because I certainly didn't realised he was that depressed. Maybe I was just too absorbed in my own little world to notice.
It did get me thinking though, whether this is all really worth the effort. Some days I feel all charged up, ready to take on the world and everything life has to throw at me. These are my super-efficient, highly productive moments. Sadly those moments are scarce and far between nowadays. Where it once took me just 3 weeks to produce 4 technical specifications and 13 datasheets, I now take almost a month to produce only 1 document. It doesn't help that the PM is targetting for December to complete the engineering phase!
At times like these I really need my emotional punchbag. It helps that we perform the same job, albeit on different projects, so he understands exactly what problems I have to go through at work. Although sometimes this punchbag tends to swing back and hit me right in the face. Not physically, of course.
I miss the conversations we have over dinner or in the car, even if it's just to fret over Nuaim's latest hair-raising antics (he does a mean imitation of a Hindi movie rolling-on-the-ground scene nowadays) or coo over Nu'man's dimples. There are also other things that you just want to talk about in person in private, not via YM in an office environment. And definitely not in a blog with everyone else reading in.
15th August is such a long way away...
Want to know the real me?
I'm not a nice person. In fact, I'm downright rude and cruel and ungrateful most of the time. Except that all this happens in my head, and behind a fake smile pasted on my face.
Just so you know, when I'm just smiling at you saying nothing, the inner me is venting forth such venom you wouldn't survive if I said it out loud.
Why do I hold it back, bite my tongue?
Because I don't want to rock the boat. Because it's not worth all the fuss and agony. Because it's just rude. Unbecoming of me to say such things. And it'll hurt you. That's the intent of those words.
Sometimes I hold it back so much I become a pushover. Adoi, sakitnya jatuh.
Just so you know, when I'm just smiling at you saying nothing, the inner me is venting forth such venom you wouldn't survive if I said it out loud.
Why do I hold it back, bite my tongue?
Because I don't want to rock the boat. Because it's not worth all the fuss and agony. Because it's just rude. Unbecoming of me to say such things. And it'll hurt you. That's the intent of those words.
Sometimes I hold it back so much I become a pushover. Adoi, sakitnya jatuh.
Monday, 10 July 2006
Patting myself lamely on the back
Breath. In. Out. With relief.
So I passed the assessment. Only JUST. I think my assessors, one of whom is destined to become my future boss once I finish this current project, was more keen to make me pass than I was. The position ‘reserved’ for me in the new company is a higher grade that the one I’m in now, and I know my current supervisors aren’t going to let him hear the end of it if I didn’t make the cut.
I’d prepared a little speech in my head, in case they DID fail me. I would’ve said, in a disdainful tone with a couldn’t-care-less attitude, that with a full-time project and two kids, getting through the assessment was the least of my priorities at the moment. How what’s important is that so far all my projects are performing well (as if I played such a major role in getting it done) and none of my clients have complained. However, as we were nearing the end of the assessment, I was surprised to find how desperately I wanted to get through this. After all the high expectations and wonderful performance of 2004, it’d be a crushing disappointment to fail, not least for my superiors.
Also, I have to admit, my ego did take a bit of a beating. With everyone saying how I’ll get through with a breeze, I almost believed them. Instead my interview outran the allotted 2 hours by 90 minutes. No wonder I feel so drained!!
Some good did come out of it. We’ve acknowledged that I still lack the practical skills to become a well-rounded, competent engineer. And apparently I have a good grasp of the theory and concepts, although I fluffed up a lot of simple, everyday equations. In fact Future Boss seemed shocked when I said that I’d stay in engineering for now.
FB: “For now? What do you mean for now?”
Me: “Well, I have an option presented to me to go into management instead of staying in the technical line, and might decide to take that up in future.”
FB: “What options?”
After I explained to him that I definitely want to stay in engineering to strengthen my technical capabilities, and even if I were to go into management it would be in the technical line, he relaxed.
Sayang jugak korang kat aku ni.
So I passed the assessment. Only JUST. I think my assessors, one of whom is destined to become my future boss once I finish this current project, was more keen to make me pass than I was. The position ‘reserved’ for me in the new company is a higher grade that the one I’m in now, and I know my current supervisors aren’t going to let him hear the end of it if I didn’t make the cut.
I’d prepared a little speech in my head, in case they DID fail me. I would’ve said, in a disdainful tone with a couldn’t-care-less attitude, that with a full-time project and two kids, getting through the assessment was the least of my priorities at the moment. How what’s important is that so far all my projects are performing well (as if I played such a major role in getting it done) and none of my clients have complained. However, as we were nearing the end of the assessment, I was surprised to find how desperately I wanted to get through this. After all the high expectations and wonderful performance of 2004, it’d be a crushing disappointment to fail, not least for my superiors.
Also, I have to admit, my ego did take a bit of a beating. With everyone saying how I’ll get through with a breeze, I almost believed them. Instead my interview outran the allotted 2 hours by 90 minutes. No wonder I feel so drained!!
Some good did come out of it. We’ve acknowledged that I still lack the practical skills to become a well-rounded, competent engineer. And apparently I have a good grasp of the theory and concepts, although I fluffed up a lot of simple, everyday equations. In fact Future Boss seemed shocked when I said that I’d stay in engineering for now.
FB: “For now? What do you mean for now?”
Me: “Well, I have an option presented to me to go into management instead of staying in the technical line, and might decide to take that up in future.”
FB: “What options?”
After I explained to him that I definitely want to stay in engineering to strengthen my technical capabilities, and even if I were to go into management it would be in the technical line, he relaxed.
Sayang jugak korang kat aku ni.
Wednesday, 5 July 2006
Boss, I'm due for promotion
This wonderful Company is very sadistic about promoting people. It used to be (way back when I was still green in the job) that after a certain number of years in the same position, you'd get promoted to the next level, as long as there was a 'box' available for you. Strictly speaking, one had to attend a requisite number of functional training to be considered 'skilled' enough to be promoted, but this was not really implemented. People got by despite being less technically adept than their subordinates.
Someone must have alerted the Big Guys in 2002, because suddenly everyone's movement up the career ladder (at least those in the same job grade as me) was put on hold until they completed their training. The training centre had to hold extra sessions, all jam-packed with 20-plus participants, to cater for the number of personnel due for promotion. I was quite happy then to give up my training spot to more senior (read: more years in the company) people, as I'd already had two mini-promotions in as many years.
Then the salary scale was revised. Instead of just jumping from grade to grade, these were now grouped together into several 'bands'. Making the big leap from the bottom band (where I am now) required one not just to complete their training, but also to prove their technical competence through an oral assessment. And this is the headache for me. My assessment is in TWO DAYS' TIME!!!
If I had done the assessment back in 2004, I would have passed with flying colours.
I did go for a 'just-for-the-heck-of-it' assessment then, and the results were very encouraging. In fact, competency-wise, I leapfrogged at least half of my more senior colleagues. But as I had yet to finish my training then, I wasn't eligible for promotion anyway. Besides, I couldn't langkah bendul over so many other engineers in my department, so I didn't really make a fuss about it. After all, making the big leap after 6 years in the job, as opposed to 4, is still an achievement compared to some.
However, post-delivery and still recuperating from Pregnancy Brain Drain, I can't seem to recall anything from all the training and work I've done (except for the sweat and tears). I tried to get out of it by submitting the 2004 results, but apparently they're only valid for a year so I have to do it all over again. So here I am, in a self-imposed confinement back at the condo away from my kids, and what am I doing? Blogging and bloghopping as usual.
Aaargh!!! Stress siot!!!
Someone must have alerted the Big Guys in 2002, because suddenly everyone's movement up the career ladder (at least those in the same job grade as me) was put on hold until they completed their training. The training centre had to hold extra sessions, all jam-packed with 20-plus participants, to cater for the number of personnel due for promotion. I was quite happy then to give up my training spot to more senior (read: more years in the company) people, as I'd already had two mini-promotions in as many years.
Then the salary scale was revised. Instead of just jumping from grade to grade, these were now grouped together into several 'bands'. Making the big leap from the bottom band (where I am now) required one not just to complete their training, but also to prove their technical competence through an oral assessment. And this is the headache for me. My assessment is in TWO DAYS' TIME!!!
If I had done the assessment back in 2004, I would have passed with flying colours.
I did go for a 'just-for-the-heck-of-it' assessment then, and the results were very encouraging. In fact, competency-wise, I leapfrogged at least half of my more senior colleagues. But as I had yet to finish my training then, I wasn't eligible for promotion anyway. Besides, I couldn't langkah bendul over so many other engineers in my department, so I didn't really make a fuss about it. After all, making the big leap after 6 years in the job, as opposed to 4, is still an achievement compared to some.
However, post-delivery and still recuperating from Pregnancy Brain Drain, I can't seem to recall anything from all the training and work I've done (except for the sweat and tears). I tried to get out of it by submitting the 2004 results, but apparently they're only valid for a year so I have to do it all over again. So here I am, in a self-imposed confinement back at the condo away from my kids, and what am I doing? Blogging and bloghopping as usual.
Aaargh!!! Stress siot!!!
Saturday, 1 July 2006
Fashion victim
Part of the school uniform where I did my A-Levels in England was a dark blue V-neck jumper. It was compulsory for us to wear it throughout the year until Spring was officially announced, which would be some time in May or late April. For a foreign student like me who wasn't quiet used to the cold, I kept the jumper on almost throughout the whole school year. When it got too warm, some of the girls would wear the jumpers tied round their waists, much to the displeasure of our Headmaster. In fact, it so incurred his wrath that he brabded them 'victims of the tyranny of fashion'.
I have to admit feeling a bit like a victim these last few weeks. Having spent two months of maternity leave in shapeless T-shirts and baggy trousers, I was fretting over what to wear back to the office. Granted, I have regained my pre-pregnancy weight, but there's been a noticeable shift in the terrain. Certain parts have grown, while my previously narrow hips have become almost non-existent. I also realised that my scarves and workclothes were mismatched. My female logic deduced only one solution: SHOPPING!
Coincidentally, Hubby received some discount vouchers for the new MJ concept store. So of I went to check out the new outlet, with a mental list of the stuff I need:
I have to admit feeling a bit like a victim these last few weeks. Having spent two months of maternity leave in shapeless T-shirts and baggy trousers, I was fretting over what to wear back to the office. Granted, I have regained my pre-pregnancy weight, but there's been a noticeable shift in the terrain. Certain parts have grown, while my previously narrow hips have become almost non-existent. I also realised that my scarves and workclothes were mismatched. My female logic deduced only one solution: SHOPPING!
Coincidentally, Hubby received some discount vouchers for the new MJ concept store. So of I went to check out the new outlet, with a mental list of the stuff I need:
- Dark brown or grey trouser suit - jacket must end below bum to hide flatness
- Plain dark blue shirt to match existing patterned blue scarves
- Plain maroon/dark red shirt to match existing patterned maroon scarves
Instead, what I bought were:
- White shirt with red stripes
- White shirt with black stripes
And was tempted to almost buy:
- Black court shoes with cute ribbons
The reason being, I had a RM20 discount voucher that I could use if and only if the value of clothes purchased are at least RM120. And being a loyalty card and discount voucher junkie, I just had to spend money to make a saving. Some logic, huh? And this coming from an Instrument Engineer who designs Safety Systems for gas plants.
I figured I'd only need to spend RM100 in total. But the sales and marketing guys at MJ are really clever. The shirts I bought cost RM69.90 each, which meant I actually spent close to RM120 - no real saving. Any other combination of clothes that appealed to me would've cost RM119.80. I bet they marked up the price by 10 ringgit that month, just to snare hapless gullible consumers like me.
And I still haven't found what I'm looking for to match all those scarves.
