Sunday 15 March 2009

Home Schooling

Nuaim throws tantrums when things don't go his way. And the only way to deal with it is to explain a complex situation with all the really minute details. Which he completely understands.

Episode 1:

Some time ago, his uncle bought him two Lego Creator sets from Sydney. He loves these Creators - Hubby had purchased three previously - as each set has an instruction booklet that shows you how to build three different items using the same pieces. The booklet from the Sydney pack also showed the other available Creator models, one of which Nuaim took a fancy to. He started asking why his uncle didn't buy him that particular set, so to cut it short I told him they had run out in Sydney. Being Nuaim, he wouldn't drop the subject, so he kept pestering me about it till I promised to buy it at Toys'R'Us. Alas, Malaysia does not seem to have a market for Lego Creator.

"Why don't they sell here?" he asked.

"No one wants to buy them." I answered.

"I do. Why don't other boys buy them?"

"Because other boys aren't clever enough." I was hoping this compliment would make him feel better. It backfired.

"No! I want other boys to be clever enough to build them!!"

"Well, they're too expensive to make in Malaysia."

"Why are they too expensive?"

"The factory is too expensive to build here."

"I want Lego to build a factory in Malaysia!"

"Nuaim, do you know what it takes to build a factory?"

"No. How do you build a factory?"

Then I launched into a full description of a Project implementation framework that would put SKG19 TP's to shame, complete with basic design, long lead item procurement, installation, pre-commissioning inspection, performance test runs and delayed start-ups.

By the end of it, Nuaim looked pensive.

"So you see why they can't build the factory here?"

"Yeah, it's really difficult."


Episode 2:

We were watching Animal Planet on ASTRO today. As usual, the signal started breaking up with the slightest sign of bad weather. Nuaim began asking me to clean the VCD, not realising that the two were totally unrelated.

"It's not from a VCD, Nuaim. ASTRO is from the sky."

"Why is it shaking?"

"The wind is making it shake."

"Turn off the fan!"

"No, dear. It's not the fan, it's the wind in the sky."

"Close the windows! Don't let the wind come in."

"No, no. It's shaky from outside, not inside the house."

Nuaim still didn't look convinced. So I had to go all technical again.

Armed with a piece of paper and a pen, I described how microwave signals travelled from the main ASTRO broadcasting station to our receiver dish on the roof, down a cable to the ASTRO decoder and finally into the TV set in the family hall. Professor Charles Turner would be so proud of me.

Nuaim really appreciated this piece of information, then looked at my sketch thoughtfully.

"Where's the staircase?"

ARRGHHH!!!

Sunday 8 March 2009

Very Late Movie Review

I just watched "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" on DVD.

It was a movie that I had waited so long to watch at the cinema, but by the time it reached Malaysian shores I had so many business trips in Kerteh that I missed it. Fortunately I managed to get the DVD, but finding the time to watch it was another thing. It is a well-known fact that the only DVD's allowed to play in my house are either Barney, Disney cartoons or BBC's Planet series.

Today I managed to convince Nuaim to let my play it by enticing him with the Spanish Armada.

"Pirate ships?" he asked.

"Sort of."

Hardly 10 seconds into the movie he started pestering me for the the pirate ships. The sight of one dashing pirate in the form of Walter Raleigh wasn't enough for him. He gave up and started building his own pirate ship with Duplo blocks.

What I love about the movie? The costumes, the set and Cate Blanchett.

What I hated about it? Everything else.

Well, not quite HATE. But the movie felt like a very long drawn out history lesson, with too many slow-mo scenes that had no real effect on me. Clive Owen wore the same look throughout (in fact he looks the same in almost every movie), Geoffrey Rush looked bored, and there was greater chemistry between Elizabeth and her lady-in-waiting than with Raleigh (was that intentional?). There was so much more to tell about Elizabeth's Golden Age. If you don't believe me, go watch 'Black Adder'.