Wednesday 25 January 2006

A Time for Change?

Change. Reshape. Transform. Mutate.

Change is a scary word.

It means having to let go of things and situations familiar, hence comforting, to you. It means someone somewhere feels you've been complacent and needs a bit of a shake-up. Which is fine when it comes gradually and you're kind of expecting it.

But change can also be an upheaval, a topsy-turvy, no holds barred roller-coaster ride that's taking you places you never even knew existed, like Pasir Gudang (okay, I know Pasir Gudang exists, but I've never imagined myself actually being there). There are so many unknown variables thrown into the equation, which you don't quite understand in the first place.

Especially when all this while, the way things apparently seem to be going, you've been expecting something the opposite. So now instead of going forward and upwards, you find yourself going in every other direction but. Why is it happening? When is it happening? What's going to happen to me? The strange thing is there had been rumours circulating for a while now, mostly among external parties, but a clear question and answer (at least I felt it was clear enough) kind of put a stop to that. At least, internally. Meanwhile, the cogs and wheels higher up continue to turn, shrouded over by all sorts of new improvement/transformation initiatives, getting everyone excited over the supposedly 'new' direction we're going in.

I'm also angry. Finally, after 5 years, I've found myself in exactly the right spot I want to be in, doing a job I'm happy with (although I whinge and whine about it, but who doesn't?), and what seems like a clear and bright path ahead of me. But if this change is happening, that path will reach a crossroads, and none of the available routes are going to take me where I want to go at the pace I'm comfortable with.

There are options, of course. But those options come with a number of different consequences. I suppose in a way I'm slightly better off due to an additional option that's been presented to me recently, but it's something I have not really been thinking seriously about. Seems like I'll have to do more than just enjoy the food and ambience at Mandarin Oriental this Friday. Now where did I put that 10-year career plan template?